I was reflecting on so many things today, and I concluded that one of the most beautiful relationships you could ever have with someone is friendship. It made me remember how I chose my friends when I was in primary school. My criteria was simple. You had to know my middle name, and trust me, those names weren’t easy to remember.
So I remember my childhood best friend being my only friend for so long, and then I updated that criteria to other things. But one thing I’ve realized is that my criteria for friendship didn’t shield me from friendship betrayal. If someone told me I’d go to therapy because of something a friend did to me, I would have laughed, but it happened.
It felt like I was going insane. And then I started falling sick all the time. So I just knew I needed help. Or else, I would just end up being diagnosed with something I’m not supposed to have in the first place. The good news is, I don’t even remember the details. Love this brain of mine. So selective and biased for my own benefit.
Anyway, so now, my criteria for friendship is very simple. I don’t have to be or do or go where I don’t want to in the name of friendship. And what I realized about this is it narrowed down my friend list. When I tell people I have a triangle of friends, they don’t even believe me, but that’s the truth, and I absolutely love it.
I think one of the coolest things about the few friends I have is that they don’t force battles on me. And I truly love and cherish them for that. I think it’s probably the highest form of maturity in friendships. You’d never hear my friends tell me, "Oh, this person offended me, so oh ye faithful soldier! We wage war tonight against that enemy!"
And then I’ll put on my armor and just fight a battle that has nothing to do with me. I’m sorry but miss me with all that.
Another thing I find so cool with my friends is that we disagree a lot to agree. I remember a time that one of my closest friends and I had an argument at a conference on the same topic. We were both on the panel, and most people actually knew we were close, and I could see from their faces that they were shocked to see us disagreeing. In fact, they were even confused when they saw us laugh together at the reception.
And me, I was also shocked that they expected us to turn into enemies because we disagreed about something. It made me wonder what kind of friendships they even have to think like that. I believe that no matter the kind of relationship you have with someone, at the end of the day, what makes it beautiful is when you’re able to be yourself around them.
Images are mine
