You always come up with interesting topics for the #weekend-engagement, @galenkp.
So for this one, maybe I could share my experience, the first time I left home and lived in an apartment. The story was 3 years ago, and I don't regret that decision same as how I think that it is not a wrong decision.
I was a freshly new graduate from college, and a part of me hesitates to go and apply for a job. That is the common path for a fresh grad to take, doesn't it? Not that I hate the idea but rather, I was drawn into the dream (with my friends) to build our own business from scratch. We wanted to challenge ourselves and we believed in the potential of our dreams. Well, it saddens me to say this but,... I thought we were. In the process, I felt like I was the only one who had that strong belief and resolution to aim for that goal. Probably, that is also because I was the leader in the group.
That venture failed because we weren't able to succesfully operate and execute the processes required to structurize the business. Some were unable to participate and that was epxlained after some talks. And with only two remaining to serve as backbone for that venture, me and my friend failed to realize that motivation to make the dream come true. It was promised that we'll serve to be the ones to fill in the gap until the others can join in, so we remained. And of course, since we failed, the other also had to leave and fulfill her role to her family.
It was part of the plan to utilize my apartment unit as a headquarters where we will get together and do the things we should do for the goal. But that never happened. And although it was unfortunate, I stayed there and continued living in that space. That also include the continuance of the workload needed for the business. Back then, my mind was set to do what I can, no matter how little the progress is. And mind you, I did not applied for a job.
I thought I would do fine since I know my capabilities and strengths. But I was not aware that depression was building inside me. Although I say I'm okay, my outputs doesn't seem to show it that way. I was clearly affected with what happened and with what I am seeing day after day. But amidst all that, I tried to stay positive and never lost hope. I know I was stubborn with my vision because I was not swayed no matter how the family discouraged me to continue on the path I chose. That hurted a lot, but I knew it was part of the consequences since I was being selfish for the first time. It was also the first time that I wanted to do something that challenging. I have never forgotten what I felt the first time I felt the beauty of that dream. It was all unsure and all I have was that strong belief that I can make that a reality.
Moving on today, I'm still trying to make that a reality. We resumed some activities and were able to talk about it once again. And although some things weren't in favor for us right now (since most of them have day jobs), atleast we've come to a mutual understanding that everyone still wants that dream to come true. And I am genuinely happy to know that.
Like what you always say @galenkp; Tomorrow isn't promised so be humble and kind.
I always kept my heart in check and made sure that I will still be brave to pursue what I believe. And that I will not change and be taken aback just because I was depressed from the situation back then. One of the ways that helped me do that was creating the blog for @adailydose. I can say it's my own form of writing the feelings that I haved supressed inside me for so long - but in an encrypted way. At least, little by little, it helped me relieve some of the burdens in my heart. I will be brave because I know I should be brave.
I should end it this way. I think, I'm writing too much for a comment. And now that I've checked and read what I've written here, it seems that I shared not only one first time.