It's really sad to know all this, I don't think any outsider can understand your suffering.
As you said, you have experienced all this many times within 70 years. So I am sure you will know the ways to get out of all this and establish a strong people's government again.
How do you overcome the fear of being killed or tortured by those violent rioters?
How do they (those violent military people) behave with ordinary citizens around the nation?
Have you ever thought about moving to another country?
If my questions hurt you in any way then don't answer. I am sorry!