The root cause of so many problems.(Wafrica Guest Post)


The work below is Authored by @hermannsol, edited and posted by @mcsamm for @wafrica.

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Everyone has had problems, conflicts, disputes, quarrels, fights with others around us and sometimes we are just so consumed by rage that we can barely reconcile the issue. In some cases, it takes a long time for the two people to even let it go and in some cases, they never get pass it and some live like enemies for life. This rather an unfortunate thing that because of a small issue, two people who used to be close, in some cases friends and in some cases even family drift so far apart.

But do you know that the root cause of about 75% of the problems, quarrels, wars etc that make two people or entities turn against one is simply misunderstanding between the two parties.
Yes you hot that right; misunderstanding and simply because at the time of occurrence, there are temper tantrums and anger that none of the parties wants to calm down and listen to the other, it just escalates into a major issue. Sometimes it comes in the form of maybe a juicy gossip, lie, or giving the wrong meaning to what you saw, heard or smelled.
It takes just one misinterpretation of things and a misunderstanding sets in that is capable of tearing two entities or people that were so close together.

A practical example is my case with my elder Sister, sometimes she asks me to carry out some tasks but she always says in the early hours of the morning when i am still in bed so i get it wrong. So when she returns and i have not done as she asked, she becomes so mad and rants all over the place saying i would've just told her i didn't want to do it. She will not even hear me out and because she misunderstood me and will not hear me out, she might say some things that can offend me and i say some pretty terrible things to her and that's it. A rift or wound between us is created which might take time to close up or heal. This is just how easy it is of how a simple misunderstanding can create a rift between two people.

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Many relationships that were blooming have collapsed woefully because of misunderstandings, families have been destroyed by it, countries have gone to war, people killed each other, and other horrible things have resulted from simple misunderstandings. I was watching a movie the other day and a city lady came to a small farm because she needed a tree from the farm. The owner did not want to give it to her but within a few days they fell in love and he agreed to give her the tree. Then she was talking to her boss that she got the tree and after delivering it to the company in the city she will be leaving everything in the city to spend the rest of her life in the farm with her new found love. Unfortunately the guy was happened to hear when she was talking to the phone and only got the part where she said she will be leaving once she gets the tree and so thought the lady was only deceiving him to get the tree. After that, he didn't even give the lady a chance to hear her out and guess what happened next?

So you see what misunderstanding can do, uses something that is not there to ruin relationships, people, destinies and lives. So how can we handle this issue of misunderstanding amongst people?
Misunderstanding comes about as a result of lack of the intended understanding of a message.
They say,

For communication to be complete, the message from the sender must be received and understood by the receiver.

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So the solution is ensuring proper explanation from one of the parties to the other so that we can move from misunderstanding to Understanding solving the problem.
And how can we get to this point when we hastily rush into conclusions and taking hasty and rash decisions without giving the other person a chance to explain things.

Things are not always what they seem.

So guys, when an issue arises, please calm down and take a listening seat before jumping to any conclusions. Listening for 10 minutes might just save a happy ending for you..

Misunderstanding + Explanation = Understanding.

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