I Would Sink Into The Ground, But What if This Happens ...
I would sink into the ground, but what if this happens to be a day where I spontaneously combust into flames, burning to ashes, all because there was not an eskimo present on the scene. Have you checked the temperature of my LEGS!?? These things won't stop burning!!! Oh, my God, Lord Jesus! How can you stand there like that with that smirk on your face telling me that my legs are more than capable of holding the weight of my own body! What is wrong with you?!?! Lord, Jesus, Ra, Amen, holly ghosts, and who ever else, help me! Where is the eskimo with the ice?
You say the earth does't move and will be there when my foot touches the ground, but what if this happens to be the day when I am doing what you ask and all of a sudden the ground is not where it is supposed to be. I have undeniable proof the illuminati plotted against ME. The gofers have been planning for some time!!! I absolutely know it. You might ask how this can be done. I answer with a question - Have you seen Caddyshack?
You say the earth doesn't move and will be there when I sink into the ground, but what if this happens to be no ordinary day? What if there was this boy who awoken one morning, with a tremendously large amount of passion in his heart, and decided, with the strongest dive known to man, that he was going to dig. He spends an enormous amount of time going down to spend another enormous amount of time going up. Now, I am doing what I am told is right; just as the boy is about to reach the end of his journey, seconds before his moment of victory, my foot lands on the ground - I sink down ... The ground gives way! The boy falls all the way down and back up to China.
Alright, maybe the earth will not be removed that quickly, and possibly the ground will hold as I sink into it; but! what if this happens to be (and only God knows how long the little boy has cried wolf), what if this happens to be the day when Jesus has fucking come! I would imagine, he would ask ME the one question I would not have a legitimate, intelligent, thoughtful response to: Why have you / did you start unpacking all of your shit? Have you not been listening to the words of my followers? They said I was coming, and now, you are not ready - Would I lie? (Spaceballs - the MoViE hahaha)
Okay, fine ... sure that won't happen, buddy. winkwink* No, really. seriously!?! I'm playing with this thought... I feel as thou I'm about to sky rocket out of this place; but what if this happens to be the day I am able to allow myself to come out of my reptilian brain, ... and the earth stops spinning!!! Now hold on there "just" a minute. You see, because of me, the earth continues to spin. Now, all because I wanted to connect and be rooted into the ground, we all fall off the earth! Well, BECAUSE!, ..., there is no longer gravity holding us down, due to the core of the earth not spinning as it is supposed to. ... ummm... My Individuality causes destruction to the ... ah... collective good. ...er... ummm ... aaa... Yes, I know, but I'm thinking ... ummm...
But what if this happened to be the day I walk into the cave - You say "only what you take with you" ... - but what would I do without this angry, raging, chemically induced, unconsciously psychotic acting man, we call human, ... ... ... what would I do without him? I see you pointing over there to Joy. But Seba, Teach, my dear newly found acquaintance - Have you gone mad; Have you gone insane?!? That, man, he screams, he shouts, he dances all about in unpredictable ways saying, "I've found the Joy in Confusion!" - Teach, for heaven's sake, snap out of it! That man, well, he is ... he is a Wild Man. Bluebeard, my friend, has told me he loves me as he shocks me predictably unpredictably. What Am I to do without my chemicals? How can I give up that? Sure, all growth involves pain, but what if this happens?
--- --- --- --- --- Some Context:
I am a beginning practitioner of Tai Chi Chuan and Qi Gong. In class, we not only work on the physical body, but also the emotional parts of our psyches. This story came about after I jokingly said to my teacher, when he said to me that I must "sink into the ground," "You do know an earthquake could happen and the ground could raise up or something." While I was on a bird-walk, meaning that the mind is in other places rather than on the task at hand, this story popped into my mind. I was giggling for a few days non-stop. How fun!
This story is about the internal conflict we have with ourselves. What do you do when you are learning to eat bitter? What is your purpose for being here where you currently stand now? Are you willing to do the work required to move through the discomfort that you feel, or are you going to throw in the towel? There is all of this surface level stuff going on, but what happens when you get down to the real stuff? Are you willing to give up your old ways for something new; for something you have only dreamt about? Or, do you stay a Pavlovian dog? What are you willing to do in order to get to and move through your Rights of Passage into becoming a man/woman?
I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I have enjoyed writing and sharing it with you. Peace.
Resources:
(1) [facebook group] Khemetic Aha and Sema Association with Inpu Ka Mut
(2) The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
by Bessel van der Kolk M.D.
(3) [Bluebeard story] - Women Who Run with the Wolves
by Clarissa Pinkola Estés
(4) [Wild Man] - Iron John: A Book about Men
by Robert Bly
(5) In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts by Gabor Maté
(6) "Only what you take with you..." - 