This is the third and final chapter of "Surviving the Transition to Manhood", it is a continuation of my earlier writings "The horror that was my childhood - a tale of survival against the greatest of odds!" and "Surviving the Transition to Manhood".
If you haven't read the previous stories in the series yet please do:
"The horror that was my childhood - a tale of survival against the greatest of odds!" [Part 1] | [Part 2] | [Part 3] | [Part 4];
"Surviving the Transition to Manhood" [Part 1] & [Part 2]. Oh and the obligatory warning is still in effect:
IF YOU ARE PRONE TO VIOLENT OR EMOTIONAL OUTBURSTS DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
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18 and getting dumber (Continued):
After three months of being unable to move I lost my job. When I finally got home from walking til my legs worked I found my shit sitting in the front yard all boxed up. I went and got me a cheap duffel bag and repacked my stuff and caught the city bus to the truck-stop. I wound up hitchhiking to Denver, CO. The first ride I got was with a couple "Good Buddies" in a cab over pulling a moving van. On the way there we stopped to fuel and a girl was on the CB also needing a ride to Denver. We picked her up and her and I shared the sleeper while the dudes drove. When they decided to stop for the night we got in the moving van (trailer) and made a bed out of moving blankets.
At this point I hadn't slept in 3 days and was dead ass tired, all I wanted to do was sleep. The girl (hitchhiker) wasn't having no part of that shit, she was horny and I was going to satisfy her one way or the other. Don't get me wrong she was good looking, I was just tired. Well when I refused to fucker he she got on top of me and forced herself on my. I was so tired I couldn't (or maybe didn't want to) wrestle this little 90 pound woman off of me. After about 2 hours of her having her way with me I started enjoying it. Is it technically rape if I enjoyed it? That is a question I have wondered ever since. Needless to say I didn't get any sleep at all that night cause 8 hours in the drivers came and got us and told us it was time to roll on.
When I finally arrived in Denver, I was broke, homeless and had no job. I went to the one and only shelter in town which had a lottery every day for any open beds. My first try I got in and staid there for several weeks. I had called my mom and told her where I was staying and not long after getting to Denver she called the shelter and left me a message that my grandmother had died. No one in my family, none of the churches or charities would get me a bus ticket home to Atlanta for her funeral. By the time I finally hitchhiked back to Georgia she had been buried for several weeks.
With mother's encouragement I decided to go get my GED and go into the military. So one day I went down to an all black college in Atlanta (Moorehouse I believe) and took the GED exam. I took the entire 8 hour test in 45 minutes. When I scored in the top 90% they were convinced I cheated. So the test administrator and college Dean took me into a private room and gave me a different test. Again I did it in 45 minutes and still scored in the top 85%. The Dean immediately offered me (a white kid) a full scholarship. I turned it down, mainly because I wanted the fuck out of Atlanta and even though I wasn't racist the thought of being the only white kid at that college was not appealing to me.
20 and in the military:
For a year and a half I tried getting into the military. I wanted the Air-force but no one was taking people without College Credits because it was during Desert Storm and everyone wanted to go fight the terrorists. Finally, the US Navy took me in and I arrived at boot camp in Orlando, FL on January 9, 1992.
Of course boot camp was rife with problems. Almost as soon as I put on Combat Boots both big toe nails became ingrown. Three separate operations on both of them during boot camp and I still graduated on time. As soon as I graduated I walked to the PX and bought a pack of Marlboro Reds (I had never smoked before this). By the time I crossed the base to my barracks, I would stay in during Fireman School, I had smoked the entire pack. Before I could even get unpacked in my new home I got called to the Hospital. They had forgotten to pull my wisdom teeth during boot camp. In a hurry to get it done they wound up breaking my lower jaw on both damn sides and didn't use enough Anesthesia. Before I could even make it to the pharmacy it had worn off and I was howling at anything I thought would listen. The pain was absolutely fucking unbearable.
Eventually, I got Oxycodone, Tylenol 3 (with oxycodone) and some other drug, I think an anti-inflammatory. By the time I made it to the barracks again I wasn't feeling SHIT!. So I went in, unpacked and took a shower. On my way out of the barracks on the hunt for something I could eat I saw they were playing volleyball. So for about 4 hours in 100+ degree heat. When there was no one left to play with I went and took another shower and got in my dress blues and headed to the E-Club (bar for enlisted personnel). On my way out of the barracks I met the woman who would become my fiance a few weeks later.
I knew from the instant I met her she was the one. Two weeks later I asked her to marry me at the e-club and she said yes. Of course a few short weeks later the military separated us, placing me in Little Creek, VA and sending her home to NAS North Island in San Diego, CA. To add insult to injury it was war time so the military wouldn't give either of us leave.
Now after that things get a little hinky. You see I lost a year of my life, almost no memories except for an occasional dream I usually don't remember by the time I wake up. I remember making the military kick me out. For years I thought it was in December 1992 that they did. However, I didn't arrive in San Diego to be with my fiance until December 1993. By the time I got there she hadn't heard from me in over a year and well, she had moved on. I always thought something had happened after I got out of the military. But after 14 years of yearly request for my military records I finally got a Texas State Senator involved and got them. I got 5 copies of absolutely fucking nothing. I mean nothing. The records show me going through Meps (twice), arriving at boot camp and then being discharged; with absolutely no record of anything in between. It is now quite obvious to me that my records were scrubbed clean and that the year I lost was most likely during my service. Sadly I have no way to prove it or find out what the hell really happened.
Post Breakup Blues:
Needless to say shortly after arriving in San Diego my fiance and I broke up, officially. In my distraught faze I did something I thought I would never do. You see I had a room at a hotel in Downtown San Diego, right above the Greyhound station. One of the other young guys staying there had been taunting me to come with him one evening. After the break up I was so off my rocker, I went. Within seconds of getting to the Corner where he worked, I was in the car with some guy getting my dick sucked for $50. At this point I didn't even care. I went almost every night for a few weeks and worked that corner.
Finally, I decided to head up to LA. I arrived in downtown LA around midnight and the bus service out to Hollywood/Santa Monica had stopped. So I asked for directions and took off walking. I wound up walking right through the heart of South Central (bad directions) at 2 am. The Crips and Bloods were literally lining each side of the street getting ready for a gang war. I think I actually stopped it cause none of them could believe I was there. I mean what non-gang member white boy gonna walk through South Central at 2 am??? Thankfully, I still looked military, hair cut and all so they escorted me to Hollywood. By escorted I mean a couple Crips and a couple Bloods got into the same car and drove me to Hollywood. I thought for sure I had stopped a gang war so they could take me and maim and dismember me somewhere. However, they actually were very nice and respectful. In fact by the time I got to Hollywood they had all given me a little money. Enough I was able to get a room for a month at one of the dive (hooker) hotels.
Between the noise, fucking, fighting and all night partying I couldn't stay in the hotel. After a few days I checked out and said fuck it I will sleep on the streets. I started hiding my bag at a nearby Church/Soup Kitchen where I would eat lunch every day. Within a few days someone stole my bag along with all my identification. Well now I am fucked again. After a few months of picking up cans and bottles trying to get the money to get my identification back I said screw it and hitchhiked back to Georgia.
22 and home again:
By the time I made it back to Georgia I had a little money saved up from truck drivers giving me money or paying me to unload their trailers. So I immediately went and got my Birth Certificate, Social Security Card and Driver License back. I was staying in a dinky hotel in downtown Atlanta for the two weeks or so it took to get everything back.
As soon as I got my ID back I went to the truck-stop and starting trying to hitchhike back to California. I liked it there and wanted to return. The first ride I got said he was going to LA and would take me all the way there. I had been up for days so as soon as we got on the freeway I laid down and went to sleep. I woke up several days later in a different semi truck in a parking lot in Key West, FL. I have no memory of those three days.
Stuck in Homo-Central:
When I awoke and got out of the truck, I was dying of thirst, the truck was off and it was over 100 degrees so I was dehydrated, broke and sweating my balls off. Thankfully, I still had my wallet and identification, all though my backpack with a few clothes was no where to be found. The first place I saw was a titty bar so I went in to see if they would give me a class of ice water. The stripper who noticed me first came to talk to me while I drank the water. She quickly got the story out of me and took pity on me. She told me to come back at 5 pm when she got off her shift and she would take care of me.
It turns out she actually just felt sorry for me. She took me to her apartment and let me take a shower and get cleaned up. She had some clothes from an ex-boyfriend that were my size so she packed me a backpack with a few clothes. As she was walking me to Duval Street (the main drag in Keywest) she told me to come by her work everyday at 11 am when they opened and she would give me money so I could sit and tip her when she danced.....you know to drum up business from the other patrons. So for a few weeks I did and every few days she would let me come to the apartment, she would bath me and do my laundry and sometimes even screw my brains out and cook me dinner.
Then I found out that Fantasy Fest was coming to Key West in a few weeks. After some discussions with locals I learned that Fantasy Fest was the biggest homo celebration at the time. They informed me that upwards of 100,000 gay and lesbian people would descend on the island. Having heard that I took what little money I had and hoped a Greyhound the hell out of there.
I only had enough to make it to Fort Lauderdale, FL. Once I got off the Greyhound I started walking towards Fort Lauderdale Beach. About halfway there this nice Bentley stops and asks if I need a ride. I guess I was still a little naive at the time so I said yes. On the way to the beach he found out my story and decided to take me to his Luxury Condo and get me cleaned up, fed and my laundry washed. As soon as he had all my clothes in the laundry I went to shower. Once I exited the shower with nothing but a small towel on he offered me $500 if I let him suck me off. Holy shit, I had never been offered anything near that so I accepted.
When he finished, or rather when I finished he folded and packed my laundry and drove me to the beach with $500 in my pocket. On the way to the beach he told me about a Gay Bar I should check out, he said he wasn't the only one in town that would pay me that kind of money.
I was heading to get a room on the beach when I found a new hotel being built and decided to crash in it for the night. I wound up sleeping in that under construction hotel for about a week. Then something told me I needed to move, I wasn't sure what but I just had this feeling. The next day I headed to the Gay Bar he had told me about and no sooner than I walked in I saw on the TV that one of the construction cranes at the hotel and collapsed taking down half the building and killing a few people....I should have been one of them.
By now I had spent most of the money I got from the dude in the Bentley and had no where to crash. So I decided to hang out in the gay bar. The gay couple that owned it immediately took a liking to me and offered me a job as a stripper. They even fronted me the money to go buy some g-strings. My first night I made like $500 and was like hell yea, I can do this. So I went and bought/had made a few costumes. One of them being a sailor uniform (Dress Blues) with full velcro in the seems so I could rip them off like those Famous Strippers do.
Within a few weeks I got invited to dance at another strip club in Fort Lauderdale and then a few weeks later I was also stripping in the busiest strip club in Florida, down in Miami. Of course I was constantly getting propositioned and occasionally they would offer enough money I accepted. Within a couple years I didn't look like a kid anymore and the dancing stopped and shortly there after so did the propositions.
Becoming a geek:
I am now broke and homeless again and stuck in a Gay Lifestyle. One of the friends I had made turned out to be a composer of symphonies and had just gotten a 486 computer and midi keyboard. He wanted to start composing that way but was lost. He told me if I came over and learned how to do it that he would then pay me $25 an hour to teach him how to do it.
So for 4 days straight I sat at his computer, learning everything I could about Windows 3.1, PC Architecture and Midi Keyboards. Finally, I was ready to teach him. What took me 4 days to learn took me a week at about 6-8 hours a day to teach him. By the time I finished teaching him I had enough money that I though fuck it I will start my own Computer business.
So I went and bought a beeper, then went to Kinko's and bought some computer time to design a Flyer. I then paid to have 5,000 flyers printed out and bought a shit done of packing tape. For the next few days I went all over Fort Lauderdale putting flyers on every damn street post and light pole I could get the tape to stick too.
Then I went back to the Gay Bar (Johnny's) were I hung out and shot pool and waited. A few days later I was passing out flyers in the bar and a Doctor (Brent Whitley) told me he needed help with his computer. I wound up moving in with him that night and spending a few weeks trying to teach him how to use his computer. He bought me all the parts to build myself a Pentium computer and I spent weeks learning it and trying to get Windows 95 to run on it. It was a dual Pentium 200 motherboard and Windows 95 would not work on Dual Processors. I hated NT4 so I was determined to make it work. After several weeks of 21 hour days I finally managed to hack the NT4 kernel into Windows 95 and get it to work.
Needless to say the doctor and I wound up becoming lovers, until he started wanting way more than I was willing to give (still claimed to be straight at this point). So eventually I left and went back to hanging out at Johnnny's. Within days I moved in with another guy, a broke ass fucker named Richard Barboza. Of course it was mainly about getting my dick sucked and having a place to sleep with him as well.
I still loved computers and had started learning Website Design (HTML 2.0) so I applied for a job at a Website Mill and got hired. They only used Microsoft Frontpage and the sites they designed were intentionally shit. In fact I got fired for using Dreamweaver and Notepad++ to do the sites faster and look better.
So I applied for another job doing website design and was hired by a Hosting Company that provided VOIP technology and also did web design, mainly for porno sites. The first site I was tasked to build was Farmsex.com which I knocked out the front end of in a few days. They then asked if I knew how to do Search Engine Optimization and I lied. I had no clue what that was but I had a high speed internet connection and knew I could learn. I picked it up so quick that I wound up writing a program (my first coding project) that would do the work for me, automated and scheduled out over a day, a week, a month or longer if you so desired.
Within a week of launching Farmsex.com it was #1 in the major search engines of the era for most keywords. Although I don't remember exactly what happened they wound up firing me and keeping my program, claiming it was their property since I wrote it while they were paying me to. They wound up making millions off of that program and I got jack shit.
A few months later I got hired to build computers for a company that only sold them at Computer Shows every weekend. The guy liked me because I could build 10 computers at one time while his leading tech (before me) could only do 3 or 4 at a time. In fact I could do 10 at a time even if they had different specs because I had learned how to build a Windows 95 drive with no hardware in the registry but with a shit ton of drivers pre-installed so that I could clone the drive to any configuration and it would work. Man was Norton Ghost the bomb!
Well now I am completely addicted to computers, web design and the internet. So I bounce from one job to another for a few years. Eventually getting hired by a young kid that owned a small business. He sold Cigar Humidors online and wanted me to build websites for him. As soon as I started I also found out he did bulk emailing but wasn't very good at it. With in a few weeks I had learned how to harvest millions of email addresses and check that they were valid. In fact I had AOL's entire user database at one point. I then started writing programs to filter the email addresses, randomize the lists and bulk email millions of emails a day. I got so good at it that I wound up having 5 DSL lines installed in my house and had 13 computers running 24/7 mining email addresses, cleaning the lists and blasting out emails for numerous customers.
I was making a freaking killing, then the Senate started talking about making it illegal so in 2000 I quit cold turkey. At the time I quit I was one of the most notorious spammers on the planet and was sending out over 10 million emails a day. See this article about me in the NY Times!
Well once I quit spamming I discovered that the Computer Repair market had gone to shit and there were tons of software and websites that made Designing Website easy enough for almost anyone. Needless to say I couldn't make money doing computers anymore so I moved to Texas and became a truck driver.