"The Nine Billion Names of Dog"🐕

"Beloved children have many names."
- Hungarian Proverb

Nine Billion Names?

Well, maybe I've exaggerated, just a little...

A few weeks ago,

I introduced you to our dog Marshmallow. At the time, she was doing the backstroke on the couch.

Today, I'd like you to get to know Marshie a little bit better.

Her name is Marshmallow partly because we traditionally give our animals "food names," and partly because she looks like a golden-toasted campfire marshmallow. And so, at times she is Mellow Yellow.

Soggy Doggie

Soggy Doggie - Original Photo by @creatr

Here she is wearing her "Soggie Doggie" persona.

We used to take Mellow to a groomer. It became pretty clear to us, however, that no matter how professionally the groomer may have treated her, she absolutely hated being left there. We now bathe her at home in the kitchen sink.

While bath time is not Soggie Doggie's favorite experience, she at least doesn't quake in fear. She knows that she's being handled by people who truly love her.

Like the proverbial beloved child,

Marshie has many other names.

As a Puppy, our little Marshmallow was harassed by a child unable to hear her bark and understand her distress. As a result, over the years she developed and retained some bad habits.

Once, I was reaching through the bars of a dog crate to comfort Mellow by stroking her nose. She bit me, drawing blood.

I forgave her and I still love her. But that bite earned her the monicker "Monster Dog." Later on, that was shortened to Monst, which, combined with Marsh naturally led to Marsh Monster.

I love to tease the Marsh Monster.

I've been known to put old socks over her face, just to watch her pull them off. I've put her in large bags and boxes to see what she will do. She is generally pretty skillful when it comes to escaping my snares.

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie?

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie? - Original Photo by @creatr

My brother is an amazing craftsman.

Once, after he came for a visit, my brother went home and fashioned a toy-box for Mallow. On each of its four sides, he painted one of her nicknames; Mallow Yallow and Puppy and Marsh Monster and Mallows (pronounced by our daughter-in-law as "Mallosh").

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Mallow Yallow, Puppy, Marsh Monster, and Mallows (Mallosh) - Original Photos by @creatr

There is nothing like Mellow's "Dogly Enthusiasm."

I absolutely love the way our little Toe Licker runs up to greet me in the mornings. Tail wagging ninety miles an hour, she will rise up and rest her front paws just above my knee, inviting a return greeting.

Have you ever wondered whether or not someone is happy to see you? In Mellow's case, there is absolutely no doubt at all.

Blow-dried after a bath, she becomes Fuzzy Doggie.

Fuzzy Doggie

Fuzzy Doggie - Original Photo by @creatr

Her hair gets all frizzed out and floats in the static electric breeze... Almost, but not quite, hiding her chubby trunk.

She is also our Sweet Girl because she is a very sweet dog (provided she's sleeping, and there are no strangers in the house or delivery men in the driveway).

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Fun at the park, Getting petted, and the Ubiquitous Tongue...
(Marsh has yet to learn that voting is immoral...) - Original Photos by @creatr

When she is mildly upset,

she emits what can best be described as a "Boof." Followed by a pause, and then (if the irritation continues), an additional "Boof" or two or three...

For this reason, she has earned the titles Boofer, Boof Meister, and Boofalow Bessie.

Bessie loves going for walks, probably her favorite activity.

Her favorite activity...

Her favorite activity... - Original Photo by @creatr

Often when I'm in my office,

Marshmallow will come and sit beneath my chair, earning her the nickname Under Dog.

"There's no need to fear.... UNDERdog is here!"

A.K.A. "Underdog"

A.K.A. "Underdog" - Original Photo by @creatr

A few end notes...

Mellow is, quite obviously an honored member of our family.

Although I was raised in a more or less "fundamentalist" church environment, I have come to hold more "liberal" theological views. Fundamentalists tend to emphasize the distinctions between Man and Animal, and to a degree rightly so. They tend to emphasize that Man holds a favored place in God's eyes. However, I believe they have missed a point.

Jesus/God certainly does cherish all that he has created, as my friend Amy has so ably illustrated in a compilation of scripture about animals that I've linked here.

We, as God's people,

also come to cherish our animal friends. Follow my logic:

I know beyond any doubt that I am one of God's beloved children. If she were to ask you, would you deny your beloved child any good request that it was in your power to provide?

In the glory, I intend to ask the LORD to restore Marshmallow to us. He is certainly able to do so. I have enough confidence in his love for me that I believe he will. Eternal life for animals? We'll see.

One Beloved Child With Many Names

One Beloved Child With Many Names - Original Photo by @creatr

About the title...

For those of you who may not be fans of Science Fiction, the title of this post is a play on Arthur C. Clarke's classic short story, "The Nine Billion Names of God."


FIN


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