Hello Steemit, welcome to the very first episode (on Steemit.com) of The Colbert Report.
Brought to you by Richard Colbert (aka @venuspcs).
Since this is the first video report I have ever done, I thought it would be fitting to start with the hardest report I will ever do.
For those of you who have read "My Life Story" on Steemit.com you know that my life hasn't always been easy. You will also be painfully aware that my mother had multiple personalities and all of them were crazy and abusive in one way or another.
But what you don't know, what I haven't released publicly until now is this:
About four and a half months ago my mother had a stroke and would up in the hospital in Rome, GA. While there they found out she was riddled with both Lung Cancer and Brain Cancer. She was at Floyd Medical Center for roughly a month before I was able to get her into a Nursing Home in Buchanan, GA. Several times over the following 2 months I went to visit her.
On my last visit to her two and a half months ago she begged me to pull my gun out and shoot her.....to end her suffering. I got so outraged and angry that she would ask anything of me, especially that....that I stormed out of the nursing home. That would be the last time I saw my mother alive.
A week later she called me and begged me to come get her out of the nursing home and take her somewhere, anywhere. I knew what she meant, she wanted me to drive her somewhere and kill her. So I told her I couldn't.
She never spoke another word after that phone call. Then on 4th of July, 2016 I got the call, the one I had been waiting on for almost two hours. I woke that morning knowing she was gone and sure enough she was.
Now all my life I swore I would throw a party when she died, but when she finally did I felt nothing but shame, regret, remorse....which then turned to anger and rage. I was furious that even in death she could destroy me, have power over me.
I felt guilty for not being there when she died, especially seeing as I drove within 10 miles of her 2 days before her passing, but because I had a military load on my truck that couldn't be left unattended I kept driving.
Fast forward to the 6th of July and I arrived, in the semi truck, to the nursing home to collect her possessions. What I found will haunt me for the rest of my days. In her night stand was numerous pieces of paper. For the last 3 weeks of her life, every time someone would come in her room she would scribble "help me" over and over.
I know in my heart that there is absolutely nothing anyone could have done to help her, legally, but the thought of her laying there for weeks begging for help is absolutely destroying me.
So for the last 6+ weeks I have been carrying her around with me in the semi truck, her ashes. Even though I couldn't be there when she passed and I couldn't put her out of her misery. I am determined to fulfill her life long dream.
For years before she died she begged me to take her on the truck with me, she wanted to travel. And numerous times through out my life she told me that when she died she wanted to be cremated and "fed to the fishies", her words!
I know after all she put me through, that I should feel nothing and I wished that was the case, but sadly it is not.
So I am sitting her now, in the semi, in Florida on I-95 on my way to the Port of Miami to deliver a load.
And I am praying, hoping, that tomorrow when I get there, that I can find the strength to spread her ashes, as she wished, in the Atlantic Ocean.
The one thing she gave me in life and perhaps the only thing to be honest is an insatiable survival instict. She made me stronger than virtually anyone alive. I had to be to endure her and I believe I will survive this as well.
Now the reason I am doing this report, for my first Colbert Report is two fold.
1.) I am hoping that sharing my story, my pain and my sorrow with others will, finally, help me start healing.
2.) I want to make sure that everyone who sees this video or reads these words knows that no matter how screwed up your family is, how badly they have treated you....you need to reconcile with them while you can. Trust me when I tell you that if you do not, when they die....it will be you that is left with the pain, the heartache and having to suffer for their mistakes in life.
The pain I am feeling defies all logic and the sorrow, regret and remorse defies all reasoning.
So whatever you do, make peace with your family while you can. Don't wait until tomorrow. Don't wait until "later"....DO IT NOW!
Because if you don't you will know heartache far worse than anything they have ever done to you once they are no longer alive.
