I've called it pretend money, monopoly money, and a scam. What can I say but 'people change'...
On Monday, I decided I wanted to exchange real money into BTC and then buy some Steemolians. It's symbolic of my investment in the relationship I've built here, and what I believe we accomplish. The sacred act of taking something I could hold in my hands (or more often than that, stub my toe on!) and transmogrifying it to something I barely understand! And here's how I did it.
From Spare Change to Paper Money
I took my very very heavy (approximately 16.41636961 pounds or 7446.34 grams) coin jar to my local Coinstar Machine.
Initially I'd hoped to deposit the entire thing, yet as the coins kept clanking into the slots and the numbers kept reaching higher and higher, I soon realized that I had a hell of a lot of quarters in here and tried to remember if I'd robbed an arcade or laundromat recently.
My final count was:
1 Dollar Coin (aw man, I would have kept that!)
779 Quarters
265 Dimes
168 Nickels
596 Pennies
She reconsiders her investment
What a windfall! I had about $80 dollars in the bank at this point, so I thought to myself.... Be sensible dear girl and they won't care if you make a smaller offering to the Steem Gods (@aal).
I decided that instead of the full amount I would turn $23 real human dollars into Steem Tokens and $23 real humans dollars into SteemPower. 23 being the sacred number of the illuminaughti, of course.
I quickly shoved the paper bills into an ATM to deposit in my account, purchased some much needed dog food and ran home to work the magic of turning these $46 dollars into 'monopoly money'.
From US Dollars to Bitcoin -or- how I upset my bank
Coinbase seemed to be everyone recommendation. I went through the extensive security measures. I gave them a copy of my ID, I swore my life on a wriggling book, I submitted blood for a blood test (It was blood!), and a man even came by to watch me pee into a little cup (although I don't recall him saying that he was from Coinbase.) Finally, they accepted that I was who I said I was and allowed me into the inner sanctum.
Eagerly I typed in $46 and his the confirm button, but nothing happened. I checked my transaction history and found the order has been cancelled. No warning, no reason. Just "Cancelled". I tried a few more times before giving up and turning to Circle. This time I got an error message that suggested I contact my bank.
So, apparently if you try to buy BTC this flags your bank that you are an anarcho-communist hellbent on destroying the fiat currency system and all they hold dear.
I called the number on the back of the card and they told me in so many ways that I needed to stop by a physical bank and have my ID confirmed! This meant more blood taking and peeing into cups, I thought to myself.
Yesterday, I spent my lunch break at the bank, listening to an overdressed teenage read off a list of my recent transactions.
Him: "$46 at Circle?"
Me: "Yes, that was me!"
Him: "$46 at Coinbase?"
Me: "Yes, can you just reactivate my card, I'm hungry"
Him: "$99 at The Dildo Store? Was that you?"
Me: "OMG, WTF, Yes, yes, it was me. Is this necessary?"
I considered removing all $88 dollars to my name from my checking account and walking out of the bank but then I realized that they would most certainly charge me $90 to close my account!
Finally doing the deed!
Released into the world, I ran to the nearest WiFi and logged into Circle. Success! In a few seconds I was the proud owner of 0.077634 BTC, which I effortlessly exchanged for Steem Tokens and SteemPower.
What I learned
Real human money sucks. Why do I have a 16 pound jar of coins just sitting on the floor of my office? Why do I have 779 Quarters? Why is spare change useless, when it could be out doing something in the world. It's such a pain in the butt and expensive ($21) simply to have a robot count it for me? Why do I have to be embarrassed about my dildo purchases at the bank? Why do I have to have the foresight to call my bank and inform them that I plan to spend my money?
I still don't know much about Cryptocurrency, but with your help I'll get there! What tools do you use to manage, spend and convert your moolah? Tell me your secrets!
In the end, it was all worth it. I'm glad I was able to make an investment, albeit a small one in the Steemit community. I'm eager to see the future unfold, and perhaps this new fangled thing (new for me!) will be commonplace!
Special thanks to @klye and @voltarius who who are both powering up, as part of their commitment to this place and its potential!