HOW TO LOSE FRIENDS AND DISTURB PEOPLE

MY FIRST EXPERIENCES WITH SOCIAL MEDIA CAME WAY BACK IN 2006

OUR NIECES WERE OBSESSED WITH A WEBSITE CALLED MYSPACE SO I WENT AND HAD A LOOK. IT WAS A MORONIC SITE FOR TEENAGERS, SO BEING A NATURAL BORN TROLL I STARTED TWO FAKE ACCOUNTS ON IT USING THEIR PICTURES AND THEN SENT THEM THE LINKS.

FORTUNATELY THEY GOT THE JOKE AND TOOK IT IN GOOD HUMOUR BUT THEY SOON STOPPED USING THE SITE THEMSELVES AND MOVED ONTO A NEWER SITE CALLED FACEBOOK. I CHECKED OUT FACEBOOK AND THOUGHT IT REALLY SUCKED

BUT EVERYONE WAS RAVING ABOUT IT ONLINE SO I STARTED A FACEBOOK ACCOUNT USING A FAKE NAME IN ORDER TO SPY ON PEOPLE I KNEW AND TROLL PEOPLE I DIDN'T. AFTER ABOUT A YEAR I COULD SEE THE SITE WAS RAPIDLY GROWING. BY THAT STAGE I ALREADY HAD ABOUT 70 RANDOM "FRIENDS", AND I THOUGHT "OH SHIT, I SUPPOSE I'D BETTER DO A REAL ACCOUNT USING MY ACTUAL NAME". THAT WAS A BAD CALL AND I SORT OF WISH I HAD NEVER DONE THAT.

WHEN I GOT IN TOUCH WITH A BUNCH OF OLD FRIENDS I KNEW THROUGH SCHOOL, UNIVERSITY, AND SPORT, I RAPIDLY ENDED UP WITH 300 REAL PEOPLE AS "FRIENDS" ON FAKEBOOK. BUT THEY WERE MOSTLY BELIEVERS WHO BELIEVED ALL THE SOCIAL PROGRAMMING THEY HAD BEEN INDOCTRINATED WITH, WHILE I'M A CONSPIRACY RESEARCHER.

I THINK THAT IS SOMETIMES REFERRED TO AS A "CAT AMONG THE PIGEONS"

AFTER A FEW YEARS I WAS DOWN TO ONLY 200 "FRIENDS" AND HALF OF THOSE WERE NO LONGER ON SPEAKING TERMS WITH ME. THE ISSUE THAT CAUSED THE MOST PROBLEMS ON FAKEBOOK WAS VACCINATIONS. THE TRUTH IS I HATE VAXXERS AND CAN'T BE ARSED DISCUSSING SHIT WITH THEM. I CAME TO LOATH FAKEBOOK AND HAD LONG SINCE STOPPED USING IT BEFORE I EVER HEARD ABOUT STEEMIT.

WHEN I JOINED STEEMIT I SET TWO LITTLE RULES FOR MYSELF - NO ARGUING AND AVOID GETTING INTO VACCINATIONS. FORTUNATELY ONE OF MY HEROES ON STEEMIT, CANADIAN COCONUT, WAS FULLY DEALING WITH VAXXERS SO I JUST GAVE HER MY 1/10 OF A CENT UPVOTES AND A FEW ENCOURAGING COMMENTS, AND HAPPILY LEFT THE VAXXERS TO HER.

AFTER 18 MONTHS ON STEEMIT IT DAWNED ON ME (I'M A SLOW LEARNER) THAT EVERY TIME I DID A CONTROVERSIAL POST A BUNCH OF PEOPLE UNFOLLOWED ME. BUT I HAVE TWO SIDES - ONE WANTS TO BE NICE TO PEOPLE AND SUPPORT THEIR POSTS, WHILE THE OTHER WANTS TO OFFEND ANYONE WHO IS EASILY OFFENDED. BECAUSE I HATE CUNTS WHO GET OFFENDED BY SHIT ALMOST AS MUCH AS VAXXERS.

THEN I HAD A BRILLIANT IDEA: WHAT SAY I SET UP A NEW ACCOUNT WHERE I CAN BE A PRICK AND DO ALL THE STUFF I FEEL LIKE I'M BETTER OFF NOT DOING ON MY MAIN ACCOUNT? - AND TODAY THAT INCLUDES THE FOLLOWING:

DO A WHOLE POST IN BOLD CAPS

INCLUDE SHITLOADS OF PICTURES BECAUSE I LIKE PICTURES

SAY CUNT AT LEAST TWICE TO FUCK OFF SOME LIBTARD CUNTS

FINISH OFF WITH MY FROT STICK MAN WITH A HARD ON SIGNATURE

TAG THE POST STEEMIT VACCINATIONS LIBTARDS AND FAKEBOOK

UPVOTE THE POST USING FIVE BIDBOTS TO MAKE IT LOOK POPULAR


http://www.frot.co.nz/design/health/vaccination/


www.frot.co.nz


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