Yeah back to the good old days when bandwidth was the problem on Steemit. Now it's Resource Credits (RC). Seems like there's no point being active if I don't have enough RC.
Steemd.com says it takes 4 days to get my RC back to full status. Meh. š
I will just ramble today.
I did a lot of things today and yet the sense of accomplishment is nowhere to be found. Perhaps because my mind is elsewhere, in a future that may or may not happen. I hate this feeling.
And then there's this thought too: We need to be more giving but if you give to those who are not asking, you risk getting rejected and hated for it.
Or you meet someone asking for something and you give them what you can and yet they get angry at you.
This happened to me the other day. There was a sort of disabled woman with graying hair who got in the jeepney we were in. She suddenly asked for alms like she was so poor and kind and lowly. Nobody paid attention to her of course. No matter how many times she repeated her spiels it fell on deaf ears. We're used to seeing such and we're not one to perpetrate laziness.
So anyway the jeepney stopped at the stoplight. After a while, I don't know why but I thought I'd give her one peso since she kept repeating her spiel. I asked the fellow beside me to pass it to her.
Then I heard something metallic clang on the jeepney floor. I paid no attention to it until I realized the so-called beggar was suddenly spouting vile words. š¤ I was able to say, "O, ikaw pa'ng galit?" ("You're the one who's angry?") before she got off the stationary jeepney shouting I dunno, whatever. š
I found it kind of funny. Of course my fellow passengers all got surprised at what happened too. We concluded she must be a crazy lady going around and doing such. Usually these street people "beggars-out-of-nowhere" would just get off the jeep after getting something. But she reacted extremely to the one peso. It was like the devil suddenly possessed her by the way she looked at me. Whew. Let me call her "the fake beggar".
I mean, I know how it feels to have nothing. Every little thing you get if you get something you will cry and thank the person and ask God to bless them more like they gave you gold. I admit, because of what happened, yesterday I realized I am guilty of the same attitude when I was younger. Back then I hated someone who could not give us what we needed. I spewed bitter words because "I knew" but actually assumed they could give us more or "everything."
Back then of course I didn't know any better. All I knew then was if I wasn't given what I wanted and/or needed, what you did or what you gave me is useless or something to that effect. This made me realize that indeed I have come a long way from when I was young.
Now I know that my previous kind of thinking is one of entitlement. The thought of a better off person giving you something because he/she should be responsible for you and your needs is an entitlement mindset. As a functioning adult, it is not supposed to be like that at all.
Yes, as a child one might not have the means to anything and so usually depends on whoever adult is around. Once the kid becomes an adult that should be replaced with an attitude of taking action on our own to have a better future. When we are used to having someone behind our back, we become complacent and think other people will be responsible for our complete well being. Newsflash: We should not mostly depend on other people while we do almost nothing to make ourselves successful in life.
No one should make us do something we do not want to do.
And so we come back to my thoughts on having done several things but not feeling accomplished. Completely unrelated but still something nonetheless. Oh boy, hello negativity. I see you're back again.
I am just tired of working because I lack sleep all the time. š
No one's fault but my own. Boo.
Good night world.
š“
XOXO,
@artgirl
P. S. Read my other ways to earn online here.
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Written by @artgirl for Steemit.
Ā© Art x Stephanie Rue
@artgirl is a freelance artist, writer and an online seller. For property inquiries, art and writing commissions, feel free to contact me.
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