Agnostic Nudists on the Serengeti

That which you don't believe can never hurt you.

Roger and Emma, two nudist Political Science majors from an east coast American university, hired a bush pilot to fly them across Africa for their first spring break adventure together. Sadly, their King Air 200 aircraft went down somewhere in the middle of the Serengeti Plain and their pilot didn't survive.

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Fortunately for them, some of the locals saw their plane go down and quickly pulled them from the wreckage.

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The leader of the locals explained that they had very little contact with the outside world but the students were welcome to stay with them as long as they used whatever skills they had to earn their keep.

Being products of the liberal American education system, they of course had no skills that would be useful is such a situation, so they were given unskilled labor tasks and corresponding subsistence accommodations.

This quickly became unacceptable to Roger and Emma, so they decided to set out on foot in search of civilization. The locals tried to warn them that two unclad and equally unskilled people would not last a day on foot in the Serengeti. They were told about the predators they would encounter. Giant cats weighing hundreds of pounds able to run across the plain at twenty times the speed of a human.

Being products of the liberal American education system, Roger and Emma had never heard of such a thing. They had never been to a zoo and had grown up spending all their time on video games and partying with their friends. Cats couldn't possibly grow that big and besides, it would be unfair for them to have such an advantage and immoral for them to attack innocent people in any case.

Roger disdainfully informed the locals that he was an Apreditorist and didn't believe in such animals. Emma was merely Agnostic about it, but like all Agnostics was certain that what she didn't know couldn't hurt her. Besides, they had both amassed enough participation trophies since grade school to have very high levels of self-esteem. They were sure there was nothing they couldn't handle on their own.

Roger fell back on his liberal training. "What proof do you have that such predators exist?" The locals looked at him in disbelief and the leader said, "Each of us has seen what these cats can do to to their prey. One swipe of their claw can disembowel any animal you could imagine! Some of us have even been eyewitnesses to such things."

Roger scoffed. "Extraordinary claims demand extraordinary proof! You guys are still in the bronze age here. Your stories have no credibility at all! Most have probably been handed down for generations by word of mouth growing in ridiculousness with every retelling! Besides, you are just making all this up to scare us into working for you forever!"

The leader merely shrugged, "We have done our duty to you." He and the rest of the village went on about their business.

Roger and Emma hiked off into the sunset, enjoying the fresh breeze across their bare skin and smugly laughing at the superstitions of the Serengeti people. After all, foolish notions for which there is not 100% proof could hardly be a threat to anybody.

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