The exciting conclusion
The tables had turned officer Penisface and his partner officer Taint had found us out. With our stash consumed and only a lie and the worst fake ID ever created discovered in the search, my drug addled mind was finding solace only in the fact that we were all minors. Not to mention technically the fake ID had my friends face on it so despite the fact he was too boyish looking to use it, that was now his problem. I shared a resemblance but had a few sprigs of facial hair and a can't lose attitude that made me the clear choice to use the photocopied manipulation.
This is where things got stranger than fiction. One of the officers being the dick he was paid to be commented in his redneck accent "I ain't seent no girls here boys" An astute observation for an idiot.The way he inflected "boys" and daintily flapped a limp wrist alerted me that something unforeseen was afoul.
I charged back brazenly, "just what are you insinuating"?
He replied, an exaggerated "weeeeeell, we all know what goes on in this particular park don't we fellas"?
"uh no way the hell we dont" My friend this time countered as a picture we didn't need to be stroked into was being painted.
The officer said, "no need to be ashamed what you people do behind closed doors ain't for me to judge, but when it's on public property and concerns minors it's my problem and it's a big problem"
I had enough and proclaimed "there is nothing involving sexual orientation going on here, we simply got trapped in here after dark as I've already said, furthermore why did you even drive into a closed park, I feel you're not telling us something "?
He exclaimed, "I don't have to tell you nothing! But, we're doing a sting operation called afternoon snack and"
The acid then took hold of my reason and I let out a boisterous maniacal laugh and said "looks like you're a little late" !!
The officers didn't appreciate my quip and cut straight to the chase, "it's a gay prostitution ring and we are here to discourage said activities with our presence"
In my mind I wanted to say "don't you think your little uniforms are a bit over the top and inviting trouble" ? I refrained
Stunned, I assured the cops that we would really appreciate moving this along and didn't want to interfere with operation afternoon snack at night.
To my surprise, they agreed and gave me a field sobriety test, which I somehow passed with flying colors, literally, the strobe of the police sirens had consumed my entire altered perception as I performed the straight line dance in a rave like atmosphere minus the techno.
We jumped the car off and all began to get into either my olds or my friends buick when an officer yelled out "not you" and pointed directly at my boyish looking friend whose Leo DiCaprio face was on the fake ID. In my relief I had time for one last remark as I said "looks like your the snack buddy" He of course snarled said "fuck off" and that's exactly what I did.
