Would you like fries with that?

It was a little exciting to meet the clown, the king of the Happy Meal. Ronald McDonald may not be the Burger King or the Jack in the Box, but he at least knows how to smile. I've been eating here since I was a small lump of oatmeal. When I was in Vietnam, they may have stolen my phone. They refused to show me video footage from the security cameras. They said it was illegal for them to help me at all or something like that. Talk about creepy, scary, and suspicious.