It really up until recently has been the hidden taboo to discuss emotional abuse, because it is something that is very difficult to classify just exactly what it is. If you are infact being subjected to abuse and it has had blurred lines for quite sometime.
In Australia this past week a National Domestic and Family Violence Bench Book was released. This details a few interesting things in the following article.
The book says examples of emotional and psychological abuse can include “menacing or intimidatory behaviours or gestures directed repeatedly and strategically at the victim including angry verbal outbursts, staring, silence, ignoring and withdrawal of affection.”
Not only that regardless of gender you can fall victim to an abusive partner. The article presents the following:
“Women will say the scars and often horrific injuries will heal, but emotionally they live with the impact often decades later.”
However this goes beyond a female being abused. As a male and having been in a number of relationships, all of which have been different and wonderful for their own reasons.
Under these new classifications I myself have fallen into the category of being "emotionally abused". However, looking back at the time I was unaware this was classified as abuse.
Yet in my current relationship certain things have surfaced and those interactions defined how I was acting in my current relationship.
I had issues with trust, not only with myself but with my partner and this was a result of my own judgement being put into jeopardy previously by an ex partner.
I was completely unaware that this past behaviour was not "normal" and I had been suffering lasting effects of an abusive relationship.
Luckily, I have since worked on these areas with my current partner of healing those scars. But, it was not until recently that I was even aware they existed.
This is the thing, as a male you do not expect to be abused. There is a sort of bullet proof nature by which we live. But emotional abuse is different, it is subtle and completely underlying. It can creep up on you and gain hold of you without even knowing it. It is only until you get some perspective that you can start to see certain behaviours are not okay.
I think emotional abuse needs to be talked about more, its an important topic regardless of gender as anyone can be a victim of it and often you don't even know it's happening to you. That is the most frightening thing about it, it can seriously mess with your sound judgement on situations and other people.
It's effects can be lasting but thankfully now it is starting to be recognised more and hopefully those who have been abusive situations can and will have a voice to start sharing their stories more. As no one is ever alone, there is always someone who can relate.
If we bring more awareness to it, we can save people from a lot of hurt and pain. Hopefully we can save them from the lasting effects it can have. But, right now..we are stepping in the right direction.
