In my mind no.06 The base of happiness [#25]


Well hello there! 🙆‍♀️

Previously, I wrote why don't we seek help when we feel bad in life.
Today about the requirements of achieving happiness and a little hint at the end which revolutionary helped me maintaining my well-being .

  • Introlude

I had lived in depression for so long, that the idea of me being happy sounded like a mirage. People tend to be unaware, that they are afraid of the good life.

Self-awareness, the first step on a bumpy road to healing.
So if your life is unhappy, admit to yourself:
You dont know how to live pleasantly.
With understanding this, you can start learning it piece by piece.

This is the most important lesson of all, how to use the joystick to handle life. This knowledge is like a compass that shows the direction for well-being.


  • People miss the knowledge how to become happy

Most of the time, kids are happy. Problems arise as they grow up.
It's not your fault You can't play happiness game. Nobody taught you how.

Instead of learning about the basics of human needs, today's world offers social media, where you see happy, often pretending people.
They probably have good genes and wealthy-enough parents, right?
Well I had both, and reaching happiness was hard work for me.

Some have a better start, but with proper self-development, anyone can achieve well being. Success is enchanted mostly in hard work.

You may not even know it, but you can feel very good - daily.
It doesn't matter what you look like, how much money you have, what prospects you see. You can wake up smiling to yourself every day.

Like for example him:

  • Self-awareness of needs

It's like diamonds over the Sims' heads. We need to have many aspects satisfied at the same time in order to go green.
Not the best metaphor, because we have many more needs than there is in the game.
You don't have to comply with all of the above. This is a list of needs that may bother you if neglected, preventing you from entering the self-love state.

When you are not exercising self-awareness of your needs, you do not know what the Sims you are playing are missing. You can't enter cheat codes here, and pulling a ladder from the pool is not as funny as from behind the monitor.

When your needs are not satisfied and you do not listen to them, the body (subconsciousness / monkey) puts you in a state of stunned anesthesia.

I used to be proud of my ability to disconnect myself from feelings and emotions.
I used to also lack the will to live, daily stomach ache and breaking my back.

Everything becomes indifferent. You seem bored, lethargic, cranky, impatient, you think negatively. You want to run away in all kinds of stimulants, masturbate, procrastinate with every activity. Being stuck in such a state, we chronically condemn ourselves to depression, or other disorders.

In the distant future, I will write about my learning to listen to feelings and emotions. I started learning it ~ a year ago and I still don't know enough to write about it.

Once your needs are met, your brain will shift from survival to comfort. This is the moment when you start wanting to make your dreams come true. You are influenced by the will to live once again.

I would like to include some solutions in every post. Add something beyond the merits. But I discuss very complex topics that need to be looked at holistically. So I will spontaneously add little prompts from time to time.
Step by step.

  • Microexpression and well-being

There are studies that say that when a person uses the muscles needed to smile, the brain naturally produces the happiness hormones. These muscles themselves provoke the secretion of hormones, which improves mood.

I read an article about it while searching the internet looking for ways to treat depression. I approached it experimentally.

In the name of science, I forced myself to smile every day, be it sun or rain. I also tried to smile with the muscles around my eyes.

At first it was unnatural, difficult, it seemed out of place. Today it is completely in tune with me. Actually, I don't smile very rarely. Most often, when I am very focused on something, or I need some feeling or emotion to sound out.

Don't take my word for it, do your own experiment. Smile every day when you are alone or at people. Whatever your mood. The beginnings will be difficult.

It is also important where you look.
Pay attention when walking around the city where people are watching.


Almost everyone is walking fast, looking at the ground, you can feel an aura of heavy thoughts.
Others look around [being mostly in the here and now]
For example, tourists who are delighted with the architecture of the city.

We are the least likely to see people looking up. Usually people look there only when they are very happy, in love, when they dream.

I have observed on myself that just as heavy thoughts pull my gaze downward, forcing myself to look / look up makes my thoughts lighter.

I like to walk around the city and ostentatiously look up.

Those looking down don't notice me. Mostly those looking around are surprised. Some people turn around to see what I'm looking at.

We are so used to sadness that we are surprised by someone happy.

Summarizing the hint for today:
There is a famous saying "Fake it untill make it"
TED talk below say it different:

"Fake it untill become it"

To run your marathon of happiness,
you need many little steps.

Start today and you will get faster as you think. 🙆‍♂️
Read Ya! 🤴

The main reason why I started this blog is to tell my story.
I've grown a lot thru my lifetime and learned things I believe should be taught in primary school, as a human right.
Teachings about basic human needs, self-discovery, search for passion, cooperation, need of tribe, love, how to grow, healthy lifestyle for both physical and mental health.
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