2am in the morning. Phone buzzed, again. Mary checked her social media AGAIN and sighed. Here he was again, multi quadrillionaire Alon Crusk and his many love letters to her. She didn’t know what to say, but his public displays of affection made her slightly uncomfortable. Alon and Mary’s relationship had been put on the internet for all the world to watch, making nerds and banksters go crazy with speculation on what would happen next in their very publicized courtship.
“Honey, it’s in the middle of the night, go to sleep!”
“I know, but I just can’t help myself.”
Mary, the young and impressionable, dog shaped cybercoin, was enamoured by her handsome lover’s gestures, but that wasn’t why she was with Alon. She saw something in his deep, dark, beady eyes that screamed “blind ambition with no worries of the repercussions”, and she found that sexy. Him being a multi quadrillionaire didn’t hurt either, to be honest, and Alon had showered Mary with gifts and trinkets of his affection.
“Beep! It is now time for dinner. Please make your way up to the observatory.” Alexis had chimed in to let Mary know tonight’s itinerary. She didn’t like the way Alexis watched her every move, but Alon’s best friends The Bees had promised her there was no spying involved.
She put down her phone and got dressed to the nines, stripping out of her nightgown from last night and putting on some lingerie under her dress. She wanted to look extra sexy for her man tonight.
They sat down for dinner at Alon’s fancy fourth house in New Zealand. Fancy waiters brought out bottles of the finest fancy wine, and Alon’s fancy chef cooked a delicious lobsterducken for the happy couple. At least, they appeared happy...
“Cheers! To us!” Mary toasted.
“Yeah...uh...cheers”.
“So how was your day, dear?” inquired the dog coin.
“Well we made it to Jupiter and me and the aliens worked out a deal...you know what? It doesn’t matter…”
Odd...Alon usually loved to drone on and on and on and on about work. He was doing important work for humanity apparently.
“We need to talk, Mary...'' said Alon.
Mary was taken aback by the suddenly stern tone of voice coming out of her typically jovial lover.
“What’s up, babe?”
“Mary, the time has come for us to break up.”
Mary laughed, “Don’t joke like that Hon, it really isn’t funny.”
“No, I’m serious. We need to break up. I’m done with this little game.”
“What do you mean by ‘Game’?” gasped the tearing up dog-shaped cybercoin.
“I’ll be honest with you, I’ve only been dating you as a publicity stunt, and this is the final act.”
“I don’t understand, I thought you loved me!”
“Nope.”
“But people are even using me to buy Edison cars and computers!”
“Exactly. Cars sold. Mission accomplished.”
Mary had burst into tears at this point. “Buh...buh...but I thought you loved me!”
“Nope!”
Mary’s heart dropped.
“It was fun while it lasted, Mary, it really was. But business is business and I’m a businessman who is all business. This will be our last night together. We might as well make it...memorable...”, said Alon, eyeing the cybercoin up and down.
“I don’t know” stammered the worried Mary, the heartbroken DogCoin. “Won’t this hurt me even more?” she thought.
“Don’t worry about that” whispered the psychic Alon Crusk, bending Mary over the dinner table and mounting the sad and innocent and heartbroken cybercoin.
Then they had sex.
The end.