On this post, I would describe my experience helping a friend who is suffering from schizophrenia, depression, and anxiety. For his safety, I have not published his personal information.
I personally know him, met him many times, and talked to him on a regular basis. He has given me explicit permission to share his story with anyone or anywhere I wanted to.
He is currently suffering from schizoaffective disorder (which is schizophrenia together with one or more other distinct mental disorders) and type 2 diabetes. He is currently taking multiple medications – antipsychotic, antidepressant, and antihyperglycemic.
He is slightly older than me by the span of about 4 months. He is openly homosexual, though he respects other people’s beliefs regarding sexuality.
He currently cares for his older brother who has severe intellectual disability. His brother could not even speak, eat, or practice even basic hygiene without assistance.
She has a sister without any (disclosed) physical or mental health problem who is busy at work, providing both him and his brother with financial aid. Both his parents are working too, and helping him as much as they can.
He currently works as an IT instructor at a local college campus earning minimum salary (about $1.20 per hour) under WFH (work-from-home) setting.
I first knew him in college when I was in third year level and he was at the second year level.
We were in the “free section”, where any student is allowed to enroll as long as it fits their “subject” requirements. I usually know start conversations with people I am not familiar with, so we barely knew each other. Most of our communication that time were for class requirements only.
(In many universities in the country, a college course which may take 1 to 6 hours and units per week is called a “subject”.)
For about 3 years after I graduated, we had not met or talked to each other.
I met him again when he recognized me at the street at the front of the university where he was undertaking graduate studies to earn a master’s degree program for computer studies. That time, he immediately recognized me as his classmate when he was in second year in college.
In December 2015 (in the year we met at the front of his university), he suddenly made me a series of calls (which I was unable to answer that time) and SMS messages to me, telling me that his life was in danger. However, I could not comprehend what he was saying, because his messages were incoherent with each other. Nevertheless, I got the general idea that he seriously needed help.
Several months later, he messaged me again. He told me that he was hospitalized because of a sudden onset of symptoms of psychosis and delusions. He said that while he was already under close supervision of his psychiatrist and with medication, he also told me that he was severely depressed because he got failing grades in his courses in the university. He was unable to go to the university for several months to at least apply for official withdrawal of his courses being taken for his master’s degree program, so all his family’s money for the tuition and miscellaneous fees for the university were wasted, and all he got were failed grades in his two courses.
He was teaching at a private college campus that time, before he resigned. He told me that his colleagues and his higher ranking officers that time were oppressing him at that campus. One of his examples that he was being belittled was giving him classes to teach at 07:30 A.M. to 10:30 A.M., and then 6:00 P.M. onwards, forcing him to either go to his workplace twice a day, or resign immediately. He said he decided to accept the offer mainly because he loves his students, but his struggles did not end there. He said that he was blackmailed into not resigning after the semester, or he will face a lawsuit in court. He said he went back several times to government offices just to be able to have a "clearance" to apply for work in other employers.
He told me that he wanted the university to give him a partial refund or compensation because of a medical emergency he experienced, or at least change his failing grades into “officially dropped”. I tried to help him as much as I could by advising him to contact the office of the university registrar through email, but he was just told there to contact the office of the college secretary. However, when he emailed the secretary, he got told to contact the registrar. I then advised him to make calls to both offices, but the responses were the same – make formal requests using email. Unfortunately, I ran out of ideas on how to help him with his concern, so I told him to just continue messaging the two offices regarding his concern, and just tell me if something new happened.
In 2016, he had a sudden increase in his weight. He knew it was because of his antidepressant medication. Every few months, he would try to stop taking that medication without permission from his psychiatrist, by which he would be almost unable to go out of bed for a few days at a time. He said that his medication made him even more depressed, because some people ridiculed him for being “too fat”. He said he was also rejected by other men he knew in his dating apps because of his size.
In 2019, he applied and was accepted for work as an instructor at a government-owned college. He said his salary was just ₱125 (about $2.50) per hour. He frequently complained about the computer laboratory in the college where only about one-third of the computers were working, forcing the students to either bring their own laptops, or use the laboratory computers together with up to two of their classmates. After one or two semesters, he resigned. He said he felt powerless to choose between his personal wellbeing or the welfare of his students. He was repetitively telling me that he was severely depressed because almost nobody cared about his physical and mental health problems, and that he could not rise up from being a lowly instructor in small colleges earning very little income and learning almost nothing from his work. He knew he should not tell anyone about his condition, or he might be both fired from his job, or worse.
In December 2020, he got diagnosed with type 2 diabetes by an internist. He said that it was his saddest Christmas season so far. He blamed his antipsychotic medication for making him diabetic. A few months later, he said that when he reduced his dosage of his antipsychotic medication with permission from his psychiatrist, his blood sugar levels improved (went closer to normal levels). He thus was able to prove that his antipsychotic medication is directly responsible for his new endocrinal disease. He also sometimes complains that his doctors do not talk to him remotely through call or text, except to schedule appointments.
In January 2021, he worked as an instructor in another private-owned college. He was then told to go to the main branch of the institute to get his whole month’s salary amounting to more than ₱10,000 (about $200). However, just after he got his salary after encashing his check in a bank, his entire bag got snatched, taking all his money, gadgets, and personal documents with him. He said he was both very sad and afraid, since he lost everything he personally had that time, and his life was also put in danger. He then focused his anger on his employer, which he heavily blamed for forcing him to go to the main branch despite the ongoing quarantine where people are strongly advised to stay at home. Recently, he said that he was able to "move on" from the event after saying that the criminal who really looked like the one who stole his money and belongings got arrested.
The primary reason why I continue to help him is because he is very honest with me. I told him that being too honest will put himself at risk, as anything that is too much is bad. Another reason is that he never asks for any material things from me, such as money, physical goods, or digital products – only frequent advice and someone to talk to.
My primary way of helping him is by talking to him with kindness and understanding whenever he needs it. I also start conversations with him from time to time when I noticed that he hasn't talked with me for more or less 2 weeks.
I currently give him free professional advice on how to be a good IT instructor in college and high school (senior HS). It is up to him whether to follow my advice or not. However, I am unable to give him medical advice which he also needs right now.
He needs a firm, reasonable, and kind advice as to what he should do in his life, whether it would be working fulltime as either a college instructor or a software developer, working as a freelancer, or starting his own business.
He needs trustworthy, concerned, understanding, and kind people whom he could talk to at least a few times per week.
He needs a reliable source of income that is aligned with his profession (Information Technology or Education), preferably those which would not aggravate his condition, considering that he and his other family members are already spending a lot of money for his doctors, medical tests, and medicines.
If you want to help him (even something as simple as talking to him with kindness, understanding, concern, which will help him a lot), I can give you his contact information without revealing his identity (for his own safety).
If you want to give me (the author of this article) monetary tips, he explicitly told me that I should keep to myself whatever tips (donations) I receive from publishing this article I have typed.
If you want to give him advice through me, please just comment on this article, or send me a direct message on any platform I use.
I would like to mention the following people, whom I think would be able to relate with and/or provide their reaction to this real story.
Please try to share your feedback regarding my article, and/or helpful advice for my friend! 🙂
