There is this concept of letting go of the old version of you. Why is it necessary? And also: what is this old version anyway?
I do not know if this is a new idea or not (probably an old idea) but there is this concept that every single day, we are different versions of ourselves. Either we become better or worse, that truly depends on us. After all, we get to choose the life we live by the choices we make.
When we're young, say four or five years old, we wanted so many things in life. We were so happy. We never cared about anything except to play and have fun! We never worry about where to find food we can eat or how to pay for our bills-- we have our parents or the so-called "grown-ups" to think about that stuff, right? We do not care about what we wear because other people's opinions did not matter. We also do not have trust issues because we trust that all people are good and that they have the best intentions. So long as we are happy and our parents are happy-- everything's good. Our validation comes right from our parents. Our parents are the only source of right or wrong at this stage of our young lives. The best definition of our carefree version was when we were young. This carefree version lasted for as long as we're young and playfully chasing our playmates and crying and laughing as we have yet another bleeding wound from falling whilst running lol. Now how is that for carefree, yes?
When we're a teenager, our bodies are a-changing, as we transition to becoming adults. Raging, powerful hormones here and there. As our bodies change, so do our moods and thought patterns. We think differently now. We dress differently. We are no longer our carefree selves. We begin to HIGHLY think of other people's opinions-- from our family, relatives, and friends, of course! We want to be liked-- A WHOLE AWFUL LOT. We want to be liked not so much by our families but more so by our peers-- our friends and classmates! Our validation comes from external sources because we we're never trained or taught how to handle all these raging hormones, right? We want to fit it. We want what our peers want because we're afraid to be different. Our goal is to be liked by them, even when there are times that may mean we lie to our parents. We may skip school because of our friends and lie to our parents about it-- this is just one simple example. You know what you did in high school and how you can relate to this, right? Or let's say you have good friends and never skipped school, but of course, you had the strong feelings of wanting to belong and wanting to be liked by your friends, right? This somehow "dangerous" version of ourselves should not be our adult version because it creates so much unnecessary pain and hurts for you and others. But it's too bad that many of us carry this "needing-outside-validation" version well into our adult life.
When we're adults in our twenties and early thirties, we are driven by our "dreams and goals" in life. We feel so eager and energetic to go out into the world and work, work, work! We're so young and the world is ours for the taking. We have a career to pursue and of course so many bills to pay. We strive so, so, so hard to make our "dream" work. We somehow sign up for the "race" to the "top of the corporate ladder". Do this and that, don't do this and that. The society makes the rules and we somewhat unconsciously follow them. We need-and-seek-and-crave love outside our parents (young version), outside our friends (teen version). We crave for attention and mistake that for love all too often (we want romantic love). Most often than not, we make lots of mistake in the love and career department in this version of us. This impulsive-go getter-goal driven-workaholic twenty-to-thirty something version sometimes still seek outside validation to feel loved and valued. Unlike the teen version, we are more serious this time. So when we get a heart break, we do not just go with friends and laugh the silly heart break out, we cry and grieve and mourn and cry (bouts of crying, if I may add) over heart breaks at this point in our lives.
I cannot detail the forties to fifties version because I do not have many ideas about this yet. When I am old enough to write about it, then by all means, I will. Lol.
Now let's go back to letting go.
Accept it or not, as we grow older and hopefully come to know better and become wiser on Earth, we realize that at some point in our teens or pre-adolescent years or maybe adult years or maybe last year 2020 or maybe last month, we have been naive, foolish, self-centered, selfish and unwise in making decisions. Do you agree? Of course you do. Whether we accept it or not, we have certain parts of our past (distant past or last-week-ago past) that we do not want to recall because it may be too painful, too foolish, too inappropriate, too hurtful-- simply too much. There have been too many versions of us. Accept that we are always changing and we have to be gentle even to the darkest parts our ourselves and come to terms with that and wholly accept who we were and who we are now.
Most of the time, we have certain versions of our past that no longer exist in our present version. For instance, you are no longer that teenage person who craves so desperately of his/her friends' approval. You let go of that version and accept that you are growing and if you get hurt because there may be friends you lose along the way-- then you've got to wrap your head and heart around the fact that you have to let go and this is the only way you'll grow. There may also be a time that you do not want to be a victim of your painful past experience anymore so you choose to let go. The way to healing may be more painful than this certain past experience-- but it is the only way you can free yourself from the haunting painful past you've had. You need to let it go. How? How do you let go of all this pain you've been carrying with you? Go get professional help. Whether you may need counseling or therapy or medical intervention or a warm hug from a genuine friend-- go figure which one helps you go back to that carefree child-- all happy and blissful version of you.
But if you personally ask me, the best remedy for letting go, and I may sound all too clichéd, is to let go and let God. Then trust and believe in God when you let it go. What good would it be if you let go and doubt, right? Because this has worked for me. I will spare you of the the looooong self-doubts and painful stories of my old self versions, so to make the story short, it was when I gave my pain and hurts to Jesus Christ that I finally started to heal. Too good to be true? You might say that. But I am a living testimony of God's goodness and grace and mercy. That is why I have the courage to write all these things. That's why I can boldly share it with you.
It shatters us when we let go of the old familiar parts and versions of us that feel so comfortable. It feels comfortable to still carry the "past pains" and the "old hurts". Or it feels "not-me" when I am not hurt or in pain or miserable.
Our past may have influenced a lot about how we live our present but it should never ever keep us from living the present moment because if that's the case then you are still living in the past even when you are existing in the present.
When you cannot let go, you are a prisoner of your past, therefore you remain there, even when you are here now. It sounds confusing but I hope you get my point. When we choose to NOT let go, we are trapping ourselves in the past, and we become prisoners of our own free will.
You may ask: But what if this pain never goes away no matter how hard I try to "let go?" Then I will answer you: You may not have tried giving your pains and hurts to God. I suggest that you do.
So how do you begin to live "in the now" and "be present"? Let go, sweet darling, let go. Letting go is a choice, it is not something that happens to you by chance. Nor does it happen "when it happens". NO. Letting go is a choice, as do many other things in life. After all, we have the free will to keep making choices.
‘Til the next post, hivers! Remember that you are loved beyond borders and beyond time & space. Okay? Okay. 💛❤️
Ciao for now! 🤗🥰
This is my original writing.
Hive-llo, everyone! Welcome to Jong's little buzz-y corner in Hive. Jong believes that every person she meets can teach her a thing or two (or three, or more) about life. She shares her love for life here-- the captivating beauty of life! To be more specific, but not necessarily in this order, she's interested in: wisdom, love, poetry, single life, books, travel, health&fitness, fashion, gratitude, unspoken hurts, heartbreaks and healing. Lastly, she loves Jesus.
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