Rejection is something we all go through. It is a feeling that comes when our ideas, efforts, affection , e.t.c are not being appreciated or welcomed. We maybe tempted to feel rejection only comes when we are not accepted on big things but if we can take a close look at the matter critically, we will discover that even in the smallest of things the feeling of rejection can set in. For instance you crack a very funny joke among your friends expecting them to laugh but no one laughed, as small as that matter is can get us hurt even though we might not show it.
This feeling is totally unavoidable, though it doesn't come all the time, but any day it comes, to it leaves us shattered for the moment. The painful thing with rejection is, everything that has been rejected has cost us something in the cause of bringing it up. It might be something we hype well in our own eyes but people don't see the beauty we see in it. Imagine going for a job interview, having all qualifications and passed every test but at the end denied the job.
Rejection causes low self-esteem if not checked early, it makes us feel as if we are not capable, we are not good enough, we are not smart enough, we are not attractive enough and so on. We begin to wonder why others have made it on that same thing yet we tried and got rejected .
People get rejected for many reasons, some are very justifiable but being rejected does not mean we can't not make it again. Inasmuch as rejection hurts a lot, it offers us opportunity to be better persons if we double our efforts and improve. Rejection comes to make us better, it always comes along with transformational power but it is left for us to choose which way we want to be transformed, either to become better persons by taking necessary corrections and moving ahead or allow the feeling to reduce and make us small. Every negative thing that happens to us has ability to purge us into better persons, if only we would not give up and take defeat as an option. If we press through rejection, it would have no option than to give us it's opposite.
We can take advantage of rejection to build ourselves into better persons, it all depends on how we respond to it. If I get rejected today it is left for me to get my way through, Instead of being hard on my self, I rather sit and check where I got it wrong and make possible corrections and if i am to improve or change method I do it and try again. We can't avoid rejection, no matter our heights in life and the truth is it will always hurt us when it comes. If we don't find our ways out to handle it, it will continue to cheat and mock us publicly
I have felt rejected many times, sometimes in school after writing examinations only for me to see low scores on my script, oh! You don't know that is rejection too? You get to the class and find everyone having good scores but yours is bad, I feel like I don't even belong there. But I pressed and pressed until I scaled through. I just want you to know that rejection can be found every where. Life is funny indeed, do you realize that we are the ones sponsoring it? we make others feel rejected and others do likewise to us with good reasons though 😁 .possibly to make us measure up. Trust me if you have not been rejected before, you will never take anything serious in life.
Here is my story
I have for long been searching for a good relationship but found none, all the ladies I stumbled upon were people who are not really serious for anything. They just want to flirt and feel among in the society. I tried some and the result was bad, I had to end the relationships as soon as possible because the demands were beyond my power. I promised I won't go into any relationship for some time since I am still young , I will wait until I find a decent lady . We call them church girls😂 not that type you are thinking about oh, but you are not still wrong anyways😁😁. Someone who loves God, understands life, knows what lies ahead and have plans.
I continued on my quest until I came across Janet in a church service. A very beautiful, God fearing and disciplined lady. I couldn't take my eyes off her but I had no means to connect with her. I searched for all the Janets I could come across on facebook but I didn't get her, the only place I could see her was in their Church and she's not that friendly. So I relaxed and almost forgot the matter . One fateful day, a friend of mine posted a picture on Facebook , as usual I commented and decided to go through his comments , guess who I saw? I saw saw Janet's comment. The guy is her brother. Wow! I didn't hesitate to add her up. I was lucky enough she accepted me but she was giving me attitude, you know men 😉 I persisted until she gave in and started relating well with me.
Soon we became friends, exchanged phone numbers from friends to very good friends. there has been no day during that time that we don't communicate, everything was moving well. She made me feel as if I have found all that I have been looking for. It was from her I learnt how to truly care for a person. She was the first lady I started video calls with🙈 like everyday was like Christmas to me with her around. Don't forget I had my plans in mind before I met her😊. But i had to be patient enough to create a conducive environment to open up to her. Besides that I need to know who she really is before starting anything serious with her. Well she passed all my tests and she was exactly the kind of lady I wanted. In fact what I saw in her the first day is really who she is. I hope you know that not everyone you see in the church is a saint? However Janet's case was different, I even loved her more now than when I first saw her.
Finally, a day came and I decided to let her know what I feel for her, probably I should not have done that. I never knew Janet was not in love with me, she only regarded me as a friend and nothing more, no strings attached. I was very disappointed after she rejected my proposal. I thought she was only trying to form tough, you know ladies 😁, but I tried many other times and it was almost ruining our friendship. It was at that point I knew she never loved me at all, she only care as a friend 💔. Should I tell you the truth? I stopped calling her. I was so hurt that i almost deleted her number 😂. What was wrong with me? Is it that I am not the kind of guy she wanted? Or because I was not having money? Is it my life style? What could be wrong? I felt so embarrassed as well. And promised myself not to ask any lady out again. One thing I love with her was that she told me the truth, Emma I don't love you, I only regard you as a friend 😂 bitter truth right? Those words I can't forget. I have no option than to move on, hehehe. I can still remember how I felt then as I am writing this right now.
How did I cope?
- It was not easy for me, throughout the first week I was not myself. These things takes time to heal. I had to sit myself down and encourage me. I have to stop being hard on myself, she knows why she rejected me and that its left for her. I know I am not perfect but I am working towards perfection, whatever her reasons were, I will never make my self feel bad any more. I know things will be better, I will become a better man soon. I only wished she told me why she said no! so that I could work on myself but it doesn't matter now. It has happened so I have to move on and make sure I am a better guy daily.
- I also refused to focus on the pain, I try my best to shift my attention from anything that has to do with love and her. there are better days ahead. I know that was not the end for me, probably she was not even the right person. If I continued thinking I would endanger my health and she won't even know about it. I better clear off my mind and continue with life.
- I cut communication with her. I stopped calling her, I stopped texting and stopped chatting her , and focus on my goals in life, I redefined things and choose to make my life better. It was as if God just orchestrated that to happen to make me work on myself. In the heat of that pain, I began doing all those stuffs I was supposed to be doing that I was not because of distraction and I was moving like that until I started achieving results that helped me to forget her faster than I expected. The love soon faded from my heart . Infact I thank God she broke my heart, if not I wouldn't have been serious at all.
Please note: it depends on what aspect of life one is rejected, it is not on all that you give up and walk away . There are things that will require us to stay and contend until we win. It all depends on how important the thing is. Don't give up in life rather change method, improve and try again 😉.
This is my response to week 33 Edition 01 on Hive Learners community with the theme: Rejection. You can do well by checking it out🤗🥰
Thank you for taking your precious time to read through, I must confess I am so grateful. I love you all🥰🥰. Don't be in a haste to leave, the comment section is available, you can drop your thoughts before you leave🤗