A Mother's Struggle : I Lost My Baby



Hello everyone,
This is the story of my pregnancy journey which is full of drama, I wrote it before going home from the hospital after having to undergo the curation surgery process. Yes, I just lost our baby for the third time, a very tiring and painful process. Maybe this story will be a little touching, but this time I just want to write what I feel and I can share as an experience for anyone who reads and needs information.

I will tell you from the beginning to the end of my pregnancy journey. First, I finally got the good news from the results of the testpack with two red lines which stated that I was pregnant after 6 months of undergoing the pregnancy program, that day I was so happy and excited, then I told my husband and our parents, So enthusiastic everyone I share this good news, after almost 4 years we postponed due to trauma after 2 miscarriages.

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I am waiting for the sixth week of pregnancy which is marked from the first day of my last period on August 21st. We nervously came to the ob-gyn doctor's clinic to check my pregnancy, whether there were any suspicious and dangerous indications for me and our baby-to-be. With great gratitude to God, the doctor conveyed the good news that my pregnancy was in the womb correctly and also very healthy and the doctor also advised me to come to another doctor who could handle my recurrent miscarriage case due to indications of cervical incompetence.

The day went very well, I was very healthy without feeling nauseous unlike in my previous pregnancy which had excessive morning sickness. I eat regularly and without doing excessive physical activity because I am afraid that something bad will happen. My husband and I are also very supportive, especially in dividing household chores. Until finally because my husband was afraid I was too tired, we decided to stay at my in-laws' house because there would be many people to help us.

On Monday, October 24, right on my husband's birthday, I had to be rushed to the hospital because of bleeding on my cervix which was marked by profuse bleeding, about 10 ml which made everyone panic. When I entered the emergency room, I was given an intravenous drip and given a pregnancy booster which is said to work to relieve the blood that comes out of the cervix. I hope there is good news from the doctor who treats me because I am very afraid that something will happen to our future baby, after the ultrasound the doctor said that there was no sound of a heartbeat in the fetus I was carrying, but the doctor advised me to bed rest in the hospital for 3 days, with hope there is a miracle that the pregnancy can be saved.

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After three days of bed rest in the hospital, I came home worried. Even though the blood that came out was no longer there, I came to our regular ob-gyn clinic, he also said the same thing as the ob-gyn doctor at the hospital. Until I was given a referral to have a curettage surgery.

The next day, Thursday 27 October I came to the hospital for a curettage. Before the operation I had a complete blood count and another bad news came to me. I was diagnosed with diabetes with very high blood sugar, the curettage was canceled so my blood sugar had to drop to normal and I could undergo curettage surgery with minimal risk.

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Yes, I just realized that I have diabetes inherited from my mother and also lead an unhealthy lifestyle without thinking about the food that enters my body. This made me feel even more down and in shock, feeling that this was happening because of me and my bad luck. How could I be too stupid not to know this bad thing happened to me, never had a health check and even endangered my pregnancy that this baby-to-be had to suffer because I was too stupid.

After the doctors tried their best to control my blood sugar, I was finally able to have a curettage safely and well. Yesterday, the doctor also couldn't let me go home because I was still being monitored due to diabetes which was still high, there were many things that could happen if I wasn't monitored within 24 hours after the curettage operation.

In this bad luck that I experienced, it turns out that I still have a lot of gratitude that I have to say to God, that I must live a healthy life to live a long life journey ahead. Remembering that I have to try hard to be healthy for the sake of the many people I love and care for. God has given me a lot of satisfaction in life, even though I have to lose 3 of our prospective children, but I know that God cannot arbitrarily give life to raise human status. Even though I keep failing, at least I give my job very well to God, that I still insist on fighting, until finally God will give me the most beautiful gift in any form. Effort never betrays results, right?


See you the next time hive friends!



Editing by Lightroom and VN iphone 11




About Author

Annyeong yorobun! Welcome to wita’s corner. Author is a full time housewife who loves to eat while writing. Enthusiasm to gardening and cooking. Like the exploration of new things and have many dream is unlimited. Always vote and give suggestions to advance this author.

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