I want to share with y'all a very important performance in my life. This wasn't the biggest show or the most hectically-organized event, but it was one that challenged me in regards to my principles as a Black artist.
I was invited to perform for a local university's Black History Month Celebration. I had been anticipating this show the weeks leading up to it, practicing at any opportunity that I had to making sure that all three poems that I made flowed well into each other; I was beyond excited to hit the stage. Two days before the event arrived and I was emailed the event order for the show.
Before I detail the email, I'll give context to what the event was explained to me. Five Black artists were invited to perform, all of whom I knew; this being a Black event, this made sense. I had seen the flyer and it included everyone's name for the show. They had then sent me an updated flyer with a few non-Black performers that had taken the place of a handful of the Black artists that were on there; I didn't mind this either as it's custom for artists to drop from a show. Now onto the detail of the email.
The email had the set-order and my jaw dropped. I was opening the show, then three non-Black artists followed me, then the two remaining Black artists followed them, closing. This had been a event for Black folx, during Black History Month, I couldn't understand. As an opener, we're supposed to warm up the audience for the rest of the show. It's an unspoken rule that the openers are generally used for performers who have sets that the organizers don't deem to be as important as the later acts, as they're warming up the crowd for the show. I wouldn't have minded this, as I've opened numerous amount of times before, but this felt like a blow to me character. I felt like I wasn't good enough to be with the other Black closers and I felt like I wasn't Black enough to be grouped with them, as I'm mixed; I felt like dropping out. I had to let them know, so I sent them a novella of a text message, hoping that the message would be received. They then call me.
This was my biggest fear, verbal confrontation. I stutter, and it has, and still is, my biggest fear that people won't respect the fact that I stutter and talk over me if I'm being too slow. They call me and after brief hesitation, I answered. They had asked me for clarification so I took a deep breath and went about explaining, stuttering and all. No one cut me off and after I said my piece, they apologized and completely understood my point, saying that it wasn't their intention to do that. They thanked me as if I hadn't spoke up on it, they were sure that the audience would tell them in a review. With that off my chest, the conversation was all love and I saw them later that night. Set the stage ablaze and met some dope people.
This being my first real post, I wanted to share a situation that integrated everything that I am, being Black, my Spoken Word, and my stuttering. Expect more posts about these three from me, whether be individually or grouped together. Feel free to comment if you'd like to open a discussion. All viewpoints are welcome, Peace and Love.
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