Wild roses are red,
Wild violets are blue.
Your friends are all dead,
Soon you will be, too.
"The Mountains Are Calling And You Must Go Get Yourself Killed"
(Folk Template / Snowclone)
There once was a hungry old bear
Who watched you walk into his lair.
You bumbling cretin,
That's how you get eaten!
What kind of dumbass goes in there?
Here they lie, unlucky men
Torn to shreds in a lion's den.
Sloshed on hooch and songs a-humming,
They never even heard her coming.
I warned those men and I'll warn you, too:
The cat in question's right behind you.
"Eye Of The Cougar"
purple mountain majesty —
the lightning strikes you
when clouds rend
and cold increases.
one by one
stars gather above
to watch you die
"Cold Way Out"
I see you standing dizzy and confused,
Scanning the land for that which isn't there,
And dare I say I'm not too much amused
By your reckless failure to be prepared.
You want water, but water is wanting:
No help from the realm of cactus and dust.
You taunted the wild; the wild's now taunting:
No hope for anything but deserts just.
We all of us learn by making mistakes,
But what you've done here is kind of insane.
No need to wonder, When ends the headache?
You've sealed your fate in the devil's domain.
Dehydration is going to kill you now,
Unless you can escape this place: but how?
"Water Is Life And You Are Dying"
It's almost like you didn't listen
When I told you not to drink untreated water.
Just because it looks clean and tastes good
Doesn't mean it didn't just run through
A deer carcass or a pile of bear scat
Up the wash and around the bend from here.
Do you have health insurance?
A little parasite named Giardia wants to know.
"The Joys Of Giardiasis"
Two tiny holes
Where all of the venom went in,
With warm regards from the viper —
Now pick your last sight
As you pass out and die.
Oh Boulder! Thou ancient witness to glaciers,
To the passage of Time in all its stages,
To untold eons of creatures come,
And now long gone —
Thou, unwav'ring thru the ages!
Who amongst the mortal players
Could foresee the day that thou would'st
Heed the calls of Gravity and Fate?
To break thy vow of stillness,
And descend with speed and silence great?
Boulder — thou, boldest and truest of all —
Fly thee down now without a sound, and strike
With deadly force the one and only human head
To be found for miles and miles all around.
Thou art surely a tool in the hands of gods.
"Ode To Rocky Mountain Rockfall"