Motivational poems for those who get lost in the wilderness


Wild roses are red,

Wild violets are blue.

Your friends are all dead,

Soon you will be, too.

"The Mountains Are Calling And You Must Go Get Yourself Killed"
(Folk Template / Snowclone)


There once was a hungry old bear

Who watched you walk into his lair.

You bumbling cretin,

That's how you get eaten!

What kind of dumbass goes in there?

"Bear Unaware"


Here they lie, unlucky men

Torn to shreds in a lion's den.

Sloshed on hooch and songs a-humming,

They never even heard her coming.

I warned those men and I'll warn you, too:

The cat in question's right behind you.

"Eye Of The Cougar"


glorious nature,

purple mountain majesty —

the lightning strikes you

"Tundra Thunderstorm"


wet skin

drenched shirt

when clouds rend

at sunset

and cold increases.

one by one

stars gather above

to watch you die

of hypothermia.

"Cold Way Out"
(Imagery Poem)


I see you standing dizzy and confused,

Scanning the land for that which isn't there,

And dare I say I'm not too much amused

By your reckless failure to be prepared.

You want water, but water is wanting:

No help from the realm of cactus and dust.

You taunted the wild; the wild's now taunting:

No hope for anything but deserts just.

We all of us learn by making mistakes,

But what you've done here is kind of insane.

No need to wonder, When ends the headache?

You've sealed your fate in the devil's domain.

Dehydration is going to kill you now,

Unless you can escape this place: but how?

"Water Is Life And You Are Dying"


It's almost like you didn't listen

When I told you not to drink untreated water.

Just because it looks clean and tastes good

Doesn't mean it didn't just run through

A deer carcass or a pile of bear scat

Up the wash and around the bend from here.

Do you have health insurance?

A little parasite named Giardia wants to know.

"The Joys Of Giardiasis"
(Free Verse)


Two tiny holes

Where all of the venom went in,

With warm regards from the viper —

Now pick your last sight

As you pass out and die.

"Young Rattlesnake"


Oh Boulder! Thou ancient witness to glaciers,

To the passage of Time in all its stages,

To untold eons of creatures come,

And now long gone —

Thou, unwav'ring thru the ages!

Who amongst the mortal players

Could foresee the day that thou would'st

Heed the calls of Gravity and Fate?

To break thy vow of stillness,

And descend with speed and silence great?

Boulder — thou, boldest and truest of all —

Fly thee down now without a sound, and strike

With deadly force the one and only human head

To be found for miles and miles all around.

Thou art surely a tool in the hands of gods.

"Ode To Rocky Mountain Rockfall"


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7-5-21. Always look on the briiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight side of life!

(P.S. If you liked this content, you might also like my buddy otherbrandt's LeoFinance #tentlife blog)

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