8-12-2016

"A Life Without Filters"

In my previous post I mentioned how much I loved taking pictures as a kid/teen. Those pictures, no matter how amateur really and truly captured a moment in time for me. A moment I deemed worth of using one of my very limited disposable camera shots on. There was no obvious cropping I could do. I couldn't crop out my body or hide things that "ruined it." I couldn't quickly put the print in photoshop to fix this or that. They were real, raw moments. My skin really was that shiny. My dad's smile really wasn't pearly white. My mom's hair really did look like Miss Frizzle. A few years ago my mom and I were at the San Diego Zoo. I snapped a selfie of us and immediately dragged it into Instagram to crop out my arm fat and find a filter that would hide my double chin. When I showed my mom the picture she said "Ay Mija that doesn't even look like us anymore." (Mija is short for "Mi Hija"...My daughter.) I thought about it our entire ride around the zoo in the tour bus. I thought... Someday I'll have a life that doesn't need any editing. A life without filters. (I won't be using any filters on any of my pictures in my attempt to make this a reality.)

"The Transylvanian Sky"

I've been getting to work REALLY early lately. So early that it still feels like night time. One of the things I like most about Los Angeles is the sky. It can really do beautiful things. This was taken within 10 minutes of the first picture. It can look like the perfect cheery, saccharine sweet, pop star music video background....or it can look like what I imagine the Transylvanian sky to look like on an eerie night. (Yes, I know Dracula isn't real. And yes, I'm sure this picture pales in comparison to what the actual sky looks like on a spooky night in Transylvania.) My imagination goes wild. Instead of stepping into the office I daydream about taking a side entrance into a castle. My badge isn't just a badge. It's the long lost key into this impenetrable fortress (a la Hobbit.)  My coworkers asks me to hold the door and just like that I snap back into reality. I give one last look to the Transylvanian sky and go inside. My coworker muses about the weather. I reply politely and wonder if she has any inclination what I'm thinking about. I decide she doesn't. I like it that way.

Bonus picture cause the sky was incredible:

"My Faithful Friend"

I work such long hours lately that by the time I arrive home it's already creeping on night time. Despite how tired I am...Despite the drama that I had to deal with regarding salty coworkers who can't mind their own business...Despite the fact my lunch mostly consisted of stale snacks no one in the office wanted...I am so grateful that I have a full time job. A few years ago I had nothing. No job. No salty coworkers. No cubicle decked out in so much Star Wars stuff I give a toy store a run for their money. I was reliant on someone who actually made a spreadsheet detailing my worth. I may not have much now, but it's mine.  As I struggle with finding the keyhole in the door I looked up and saw this view. The moon always lights up my doorknob so that I don't feel like I'm playing Tomb Raider and pushing along the entire length of a wall hitting X hoping I'll find a hidden doorway. It's my faithful friend since my landlord can't bother to fix the broken light. I could write an entire paragraph about my landlord, or all LA landlords really. But I'll spare you.