I started a list yesterday about a few things that I have been transforming in my life lately. You can see the post here-> @cynshineonline/a-series-of-hive-boobs--personal-development-the-hivefies.
I wanted to do a post on each topic on the list. And the first topic is: Asking high value questions will get me closer to the person I want, get some real answers, and make for a great conversation.
I loathe small talk. "Hi, how are you?" Always makes me sigh deeply and makes me remind myself the person is just being friendly. They're not trying to bug me. I also have to remember they don't know what I'm up to or what I'm doing so they're starting conversation.
I'm good at making the small talk but it exhausts me, sometimes. And to be clear, I don't mind it, IF it leads into deeper conversation.
But then @Ryzeonline brought it to my attention that I was asking these low-vibe, small-talkish questions.
Whoa! What? No....wait...what kind of questions do you mean, Sir?
What were you doing?
What are you working on?
How are you?
No no no no no no...I was asking these kinds of questions? To my partner?
For people who live together and have outside jobs this might be an appropriate way to start a conversation. But for us, it's not ok.
I know what he's working on...(That amazing Hive: A Complete Beginner's Guide (With Fun Doodles) Pt. 1& Pt. 2 for the last 8 days...I KNOW what he's doing and how he feels. Even when he's not working on the guide, I KNOW what he's doing.
So why was I asking these questions? Because I was unsure how to ask deeper questions.
This caused me to ask him..."What kinds of questions can I ask that are higher vibe?"
So he went through some examples for me....the question I asked a lot was...'What are you doing?'
We live together, we have a business together, we text all day long when we're in separate rooms, and we have meals together. WHY on earth would I NOT know what he's doing?
Why would it matter? Well because that question causes a simple answer...I was doing 'xyz'.
But if I ask..."What's your favorite thing about your project you're working on right now, so far?"
And he goes on a tangent about some cool Hive stuff he learned. About how he didn't know something and how someone was kind enough to teach him. And on and on....not in a boring way but in a conversation that he expresses his excitement in. We end up talking deeper about Hive, marketing, and how we can help, etc.
The point is....if I had stuck to my usual question the conversation would have been over quickly and we'd be staring at each other in silence.
But asking a higher vibe, deeper question....will give you deeper answers. You'll get more expression, more cooperation, more laughter, and more honesty.
I tried this with my mom too and it worked. We were chatting about nothing major and I said..."How do you feel now that you're working part-time?" and it led to an AMAZING conversation with her. It was fun and we laughed and even cried a little lol.
The point is asking better questions will give you better answers. So the next time you sit down with your partner, your sister, your friends, or your parents....think about asking something deeper...and see how deep the conversation can go.
~Love, Cyn
If you want to learn more about what J-Ryze and I do check out our website... https://jryze.me