In this week @ladiesofhive community came up with a very interesting question, thoughts on Single Mother. I read so many responses and it was very overwhelming for me to know that there are so many single mothers who are daily facing the challenges of the world to raise their children. While it is very sad that in one part of the world this is a very serious issue and it is not being dealt with the right measures. When this is very common, I feel that sex education must be a top most priority so that teenage girls do not get carried away in their age. It is very easy for a man to shrug off from their responsibilities but for a mother it is impossible. No matter whatever her circumstances will be there she will still take care of her baby. Being a single parent is very tough.
In my case, it was the opposite. I was raised under the care of my Father who was to a large extent a single Father. My parents never got divorced, but they stayed separate since they never got along. My Father took our custody from a very young age, since my mother did not have any financial nor emotional stability to take care of me and my sister. Though he was a very short-tempered man and was on heavy alcohol addiction but he still made sure that we were raised up well. I have huge respects for him and I always tell the world, that it is not only a mother who can sacrifice her life for her children, even a father can do that. He can also be a father and mother to his child and will be equally responsible like a mother.
But in all cases, single parent children do face a lot of traumas in their growing up. It is just not about the society, there are many other factors also, like for a girl there are so many things which she can only discuss with her mother and when that absence is felt it can leave deep scars within. Same goes for a male child, after a point of time he wants that masculine energy around him and too much of feminine energy makes his insecure. The whole family environment plays a big role in shaping up a mentally healthy child. When that goes missing, it does not impact them but then grow up and become parents it also reflects on their parenting style. There are always some missing spaces in their life.
When I look back at my life, I have missed so much. As a child sleeping between them, holding both of their hands and going out, having both of their presence in school functions. A home where both of them are together, a place where there are cuddles, laughter and cheer. It does bring a lot of pain at that age when you see other children around with both their parents and that you are left alone and the whole world is trying to sympathize on your condition. That was one thing I hated so much, when people would say, Oh poor little girl. That's a different thing that this poor little girl has now been doing very well for herself in all ways. But the journey of growing up was never easy.
And it is not for any child with a single parent, be it a father or mother. These days the younger generation I see lack lot of tolerance and for little matters they want to separate out not thinking much of the child. If they are financially independent, they think that they do not need a partner, but they forget that besides financial security child also needs emotional security.
There are few genuine cases where the marriage is intolerable for a woman or a man and in such cases, it is best to separate out for the wellbeing of the child. But other than that I believe that a couple should always make their marriage work if they have children involved in them.
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