Child as co-tenant

I thought about it and think it's a good idea to make my daughter co-tenant of the house I rent. It might sound odd to you and if so you aren't the only one. If, in my country, you rent a house one person signs for it. In my case it's me. The one who signs is the one who officially owns the place. It means this person is protected and can not be kicked out or doesn't need to move if a relationship doesn't work out. Who pays has the benefits but not only the benefits. You need to be able to pay each month no matter if you can afford it. So if you are a couple it can be wiser to sign with two.

I am a single mom and although one of my daughters was an adult as we moved to the rental home we live in in 2016 I signed for it alone. To be honest I never thought about making her sign in 2016 too. I assume it had to do with the idea she did not have a steady job at that time. No job, no social security. After her study, she tried everything, was willing to do everything but highly educated people are not easily hired, no emigrant, not disabled which means the employer cannot ask money from the government if he hires you.

We managed, she managed as I couldn't help her out and it was me who suggested to figure out if she can be co-tenant. I heard about stories where partners or children were dumped on the street by house owners after the person who hired the place died. It's hard to find a house and as a parent, I do want my children to have a home. I gave birth to them, raised them and saved for their future and made sure each one of them has a health and funeral insurance. This all is worthless if they have to live on the streets. The present's old but a good place to be. I am not saying she, or the other children, should never move but it's good to know the roof above the head is there. If you move you should do so on your own terms not because you are forced to move out within two weeks!

I am not sure if the coronavirus and restrictions made it easier but today everything can be arranged online. At least it looks like it. The house owner invested time to make an online form that you can fill out. Three attachments are needed. The ID, a list from the city where you live now (and earlier addresses) and proof you live together. It doesn't sound like much paperwork although I am not sure what they mean with the "proof" part. Living at the same address should be proof enough or and why are all the former addresses of a child that stayed living at home asked? I can imagine why they asked me for it back then. If you rented other houses they want to know if you pay, have no debts et cetera but if it comes to my daughter (a minor who never rented plus debts are registered at the BKR (Bureau Credit Registration) which includes not paying off your mobile phone).

I wrote an e-mail to the company that owns the house and asked how the proof should look like. Hopefully, my daughter didn't order the wrong form (I am afraid she did because it doesn't show a history of former addresses) and it can be arranged within a month or two.

Right after I suggested this to my daughter she started calculating if she can afford it with her present job. At that time we thought it would be one of the requirements but it turns out it's not (although it was with me). Can be if she loses the job they don't care or assume she will receive social help and if not kick her out on the street with the dog, cat and snake. It is a relief for her to know her life will not end if I die. It might change because she would have siblings to take care of but that won't be the end of the world. Her world, the safety of a place of her own, a house and even a neighbourhood she likes.

If you have children you will always be a parent. This means you are responsible for their well being. I am not saying till eternity but till a certain level, you are. My daughter found a job and manages. It's a physical heavy one but she is appreciated and happy with the opportunity. She can travel by bike, is optimistic, and her meals are for free. It is not what she studied for, not what she loves to do most but as long as the business doesn't close down there's a very small chance she will be sacked.

We have separated finances but if possible we help each other out and while I pay the rent she pays for some other bills. The process of taking over responsibilities for the costs of living is part of raising but being an adult too. Children especially grownups should be able to take care of themselves. They should know how high the costs for a living are, costs without food included. She wrote it all down in a notebook. Every monthly payment done and the yearly taxes for the rental home, the city and so on. Altogether a lot of money but she felt happy to know what to expect. "It's a relief I know if needed I can afford it, what to do", she said.

It was a relief to hear her say this. A few days later I read an article about two sisters being kicked out of their home right after their mother died. They were not allowed to rent it but old enough to empty the house immediately, the house where they had lived their entire life. Those girls are not the only ones. A 60-year-old woman was told to move out within 2 weeks after her partner died. If the contract is not on your name you have to move out. Waiting lists for Dutch people are 25 years if not longer. It depends on your income where you are allowed to live and which house you can rent.


#kittywu #parenting #life #home #wheretolive

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