Am I Overthinking About My Autistic Son’s Future?
By nature, I am quite meticulous. When I am planning something for example a holiday abroad, I do a lot of research and planning. A lot of thinking is put in so that things will turn out as planned. For my recent trip to Busan, I made a day to day schedule which included which train or bus to take.
Recently an 22 year old autistic man, Ahmad Ziqri Morshidi from Kuala Lumpur was charged in court for alleging touching the chest of a girl. The autistic man had to spent a night at the lock up and when he was charged in court the next day, he was handcuffed and dressed in an orange prison clothes. I watched the video of the incident and the accused looked so spaced out and lost, he really did not understand what was going on. I can easily imagine that it was my autistic Jonathan who was charged in court. At times when I passed someone sleeping in the street, I would sometimes ask myself, “Would this too happen to Jonathan when Roselind, my wife and I are not around?”
The biggest worry that Roselind and I had is about Jonathan’s future when both of us are not around. Who will care for him? Will he have a roof over his head? Who will provide for his basic needs? Will Jonathan have enough food? For parents who have disabled children, this type of worry is quite common and understandable. But the question still arises; Am I overthinking about my autistic son’s future?
Jonathan is still not independent and lacked the basic skills to live independently. Thus worrying about is him especially when me and Roselind are not around is quite natural. I also know that worrying does not really help and that Roselind and I should instead focus on building Jonathan’s self-help and living skills so that he can be more independent. But knowing one thing and doing one thing is very different. A lot of us know things on a theoretical level but actually doing these things is a very different matter altogether.
Yes, I do need to think about and plan for Jonathan’s future. I want to put things in place so that he can lead a happy and stable lifestyle after both Roselind and I are gone. But how much thinking becomes too much thinking? Where do I draw the line? This not an easy question to answer. I suppose that as long as the thinking and worrying does not overwhelm me then I am not overthinking about my autistic son’s future. So what do you think? Do you also overthink? What are the things that you overthink about? Do put your thoughts in the comment section.
If you want to learn some strategies to stop overthinking, please read my next post
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