I remember the first time I was around a friend who smoked weed. He asked me, "are you cool?"
I thought he was asking if I considered myself to be a cool guy. I think he caught on to that when I replied, "yeah, I'm cool".
"No. Are you cool?" Which was puzzling that he kept asking in different tones.
Eventually I realized that he was trying to find out if I would rat him out.
Perhaps we should adopt something similar before speaking to people to find out if they're going to rat you out for saying naughty words.
"Sure, I'll tell you what I think. First, tell me. Are you cool?"