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A Geeky Dad's Movie Guide to The LEGO Ninjago Movie (2017)

I thought the first two LEGO movies were brilliant. I would have seen either of those movies even if I didn't have children. The LEGO Movie was a fun version of the hero's journey filled with laughs and heart. The LEGO Batman Movie was a fantastic comedic version of a usually very serious comic book character. I was pleasantly surprised that neither was the 90 minute long cash grab/toy commercial I thought they would be.



How many things on this poster do you think will be made into toys?

The LEGO Ninjago Movie did not continue this trend. Don't get me wrong, it is not a complete cash grab/toy commercial, but it is far closer to that than the previous two films (which were both surprisingly original).

My children have watched Ninjago on TV since it debuted in 2011. If they happen to have it on while I am in the room, I don't mind taking a peek. Sometimes its actually pretty funny. But the writers of the show definitely do not care about catering to adults. And that is ok. Sometimes kids need a little mindless fun that inspires them to build and play with their LEGO toys. The movie goes a step further in an attempt to be more than just three vapid TV episodes strung together... but it is still not great.

The first five minutes of the movie actually impressed me. The writers found a creative way to deal with the problem that this entire story has already been told during its six seasons on The Cartoon Network. The movie opens with a live action sequence involving a real child entering an unique store filled with Asian artifacts (similar to the one in Gremlins). The store is run by Jackie Chan (who also voices Sensei Wu). The store owner begins to tell the boy a story. He also tells the child that he (and the audience) must forget everything they already know (about the previous six seasons of the show). The rest of the movie is framed as if the boy is imagining the parable told by the wise store owner. The lesson of the parable is that it is OK to be different. It's a nice message... but sadly it doesn't really go anywhere. I never felt my kids were being taught anything by this movie.



Right there! All of those kids out there! Those are the ones who will buy all of the toys advertised by this movie.

After that opening sequence, the movie turns into a standard action movie with a teenager trying to defeat/redeem his evil father. Luke Lloyd desperately missed his childhood with his father and yearns to be reunited and accepted by Darth Vader Lord Garmadon (voiced by Justin Theroux).

Actually, that's it. That is nearly the whole story. Garmadon attacks the city. Lloyd and his friends try to protect it. Of course Lloyd eventually ends up having to work with his father and then... absolutely nothing original or shocking happens. I would have warned of a "spoiler alert" but there really is no way to spoil this. Every adult knows exactly what is going to happen in the movie.

This is definitely a kids movie. It is very formulaic and predictable. My own kids didn't even love it (and they seem to love everything). They thought it was "OK". After every movie, I always give them a one question test: "Do you think we should buy this when it comes out on DVD?" Both of my kids said that, although they were happy they saw it, they didn't care if they ever watched it again.



So there you go. Review over.

Perhaps that would be the case if there were no chance you'd have to take your kids. But it's a kids movie that has been advertised for months. Odds are, your kids want to go.

Therefore, I am going to approach the rest of this review a little differently. I was inspired by my wife's wisdom to try and help all of you. She was smart enough not to come with to this one.

The goal of the remainder of this review will be to help you decide if you, as parents, want to:

a. Go as an entire family.
b. Rock-paper-scissors to see which of you has to go with the kids.
c. Score some points with your spouse by taking the kids while he/she enjoys two hours to themselves.
d. Get one of your nieces or nephews to take your kids while you stay home and clean the garage.
e. Make your kids wait for DVD.

So, if you have to go, how much will you suffer?

Not that much.

At 90 minutes of actual runtime, the movie is fairly short. There is no "stinger" after the credits. Therefore, once the amusing cartoon dance number is over, you can immediately leave. The old school LEGO instruction-like animation during the credits is quite fun.

All of the animation is spectacular. I love the way the artists create the feeling of real LEGO figures and vehicles moving.

There is plenty of action. Although, that might be a double edged Katana (not sure if that is possible or redundant... but it was worth it). Because there is action almost every 5 minutes, there isn't much of a story.



There are lots of jokes. The writers cast a huge net. Some of them are bound to make you chuckle. There was one five minute sequence during which I simply could not stop laughing. That sequence combined with the fact that I got to watch it while sitting next to my kids, made it worth the $5.70 matinee price I paid.

If you get bored, you can always scan the backgrounds for Easter eggs. There are several references to other movies scattered throughout the film.

The director did some clever things with music. At certain points there are flute versions of popular songs.

If that isn't enough, at one point the villain operates a shark mech that fires live sharks out of a rocket launcher. It may be your only chance to see that.

If it were me, I'd stick with choice "c". The points I scored with my wife by giving her a couple of hours to do whatever she wanted was well worth sitting through this movie. The movie would have had to really suck if I'd rather spend my time cleaning the garage than watching it. It didn't suck that bad (few movies do).

Geeky Dad's Movie Guide

Number of times I fell asleep: 0 (But it was close)
Number of eye rolls: 0 (Low expectations)
Number of face palms: 0 (See above)
Number of times my kid asked to go to the bathroom or get food out of sheer boredom: 0 (But they did get a bit squirrelly a couple of times)
Number of times I checked steemit: 0
Number of times I said "That's ridiculous": 0 (See above again)
Did my kids like it: Both my 12 year old son and 10 year old daughter thought it was just "OK".
Would I see it without my kids: No chance.
Full price/Matinee/Rental/Free/Not worth the time: Matinee (to score points) or rent it if your kids will forget about it.

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