Learning To Control Your Anger

First of all, it is important to know that apologizing or saying "sorry" does not undo what you did when you're angry. A lot of people get tempered and say or do all manner of stuffs and later come back to apologise. However, what they do not understand is that the mark of what they did has already been imprinted and may stay for a long while. So instead of focusing your attention on apologizing, why not focus more on learning to control your anger so that you will not have a need to apologise or may end up creating enemies?

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Image from Pixabay

One thing I have understood is that anger is basically a product of choice. I read a story of a young boy that had anger issues and he was quick to be vexed. His father, in an attempt to help him break free from the anger, gave him a box of nails and a hammer. He told him that each time he loses his temper or each time he get so vexed, he should hammer a piece of nail into a nearby tree. The first day that he was given the tools, he hammered in 40 pieces of nails - each of them signifies an isolated case of anger. Which means that he lost his temper for 40 times in that day.

Subsequently, the number of nails he hammered reduced because the stress he went through hammering the nails was much and he figured out that it was easier to control his temper than it is to hammer the nails. The number of times he hammered in the nails reduced until a day came and he did not hammer in any nail for the day. Which means that he did not lose his temper for the day, but he already had about 99 nails hammered in total to the tree.

After the day passed and he stayed anger-free, he got excited and ran to his dad to tell him his observations. His father congratulated him but also gave him another assignment. He told him that everything has consequences and that he will need to be taking out 2 nails a day from the tree until he finishes taking them out. More so, if he looses his temper, he would start all over again. It was huge, but the boy went through it and after many days, he was able to removed all the nails from the tree.

After he told his father about it, the father told him that there are two lessons he will teach him from the experience. Firstly, he took him to the tree and pointed out the 99 holes that were created by the nails. He told him that the holes which he had created with the nails will still be visible on the tree. He then told him that each time he acts or says something out of anger, even when he apologizes, it will not be able to undo what has been done.

Saying sorry is just like removing the nail from the tree; just like the story of the young boy; but the mark that the nail has made on the tree will not disappear when the nail is removed. With this, the young boy had to understand why he needs to control his temper.

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Image from Pixabay

The second lesson the boy learnt from the nail encounter is that everything that someone does will always have consequences - just the way he bore the consequences of removing the nails after he had put them in. You see, there is nothing to gain with anger, so you should learn to put it under subjection.

Thanks for reading

Peace on y'all

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