Me just hours before my son's graduation right before I had a huge moment of self-doubt and changed clothes
I experienced several bouts of anxiety and learned that one of the medications I'm on can cause Metabolic Disorder which can mess with all kinds of things and may be whey I've gained so much weight since being on it.
Problem? I have to go back to the doctor for a blood draw one morning before coffee. I have to be fasting. I can't seem to remember though and have my cup with loads of french vanilla creamer hours before I remember I was supposed to go to the doctor. I really need to get it done though so we can decide where to go with my medications.
Finances are tight this time of month and that always causes more stress, especially on the husband, which in turn is usually expressed to me...and not in a very loving way. I'm tired of feeling like I'm only important if I'm doing something.
Nobody seems to understand that my anxiety keeps me from doing much of anything.
Things that cause me anxiety:
Large groups of stupid people
Small stores/boutiques
Stores with only one or two other people in them
Writing about myself
The kids arguing
Talking one-on-one with strangers
Doctor visits
My husband's moods
Anything that goes too quickly to anticipate
Anticipation
Work
Working with strangers
Working with family
School functions
Friend functions
Family functions
Even the thought of this summer's family reunion where someone who caused me a lot of my problems will be there.
Selling my jewelry and creations at said family reunion even though I've been asked to several times by several of my aunts and cousins.
Strange foods that might cause me stomach discomfort
Languages that I don't understand
People who do things that I don't understand
Not understanding in general
Being wholly myself
Feeling like I never get anything right
Feeling like a failure
What am I doing to alleviate my symptoms? Well, THC always helps. CBD oil isn't bad either. I take Ativan almost daily. At night I drink until I'm relaxed and no longer feel like just snapping at everything. I know it isn't healthy, especially with the Ativan. I only have a few drinks, I almost never get "drunk." In fact, I can't remember the last time I even had the opportunity.
So anyway...that's this week's Nervous Newspaper. Anxiety Atlas. Panic Publication. Health Headline. #mentalhealthmonday by @kiaraantonoviche.
