The dream
A sad dream.
I dreamed that I was in the United States, near my older brother's house. It was night, very dark, and I was in my brother's van. It had a sophisticated GPS, that one can type an address and it drives by itself. Incidentally, since my childhood, I have been dreaming of a car that drives by itself when I'm inside it. The car drives quite wildly, and I sit in the back seat, looking in amazement as the car stops at a "stop" sign, slows down and turns carefully.
When the car stops somewhere I realize that I am near my brother's house - where I wanted to go, but I do not know the surroundings, and everything is very dark - so I can not tell where I am. I think that the GPS probably took me to the backside of the house and that's why I do not recognize it.
Suddenly I find a small brown animal on the back seat about to fall and look half dead. I realize the enormity of the horror - it's a little gerbil that I had gotten as a gift whom I forgot in the car for a few days. He was weak, poor, and I thought about what he had been through - locked in the car with no one to take care of him, give him love, feed and drink him.
The gerbil jumps and sits on the seat. I want to get out of the car and leave it there. Somehow I know I'll take care of him from now on but it must be my way.
When I open the car door he jumps out of it. I keep getting from him a feeling of terrible weakness and deep sadness. I panic and go outside to get him back in the car and find him sipping water from a nearby bank. I do not want him to do it because I want myself to bring him water and food. So I catch him - and that's the saddest thing of all -and he's weak and can not resist me. I feel him shrinking between my hands engulfed by sadness and I put it back in the car.
Then I realize that I lock the car and leave the poor animal there again.
Two important things-
As for the United States, I had a few dreams of being lost on the roads there, and it happened to me in the reality.
As I wrote earlier, dreams about a car driving on its own are very common for me, in different variations.
And my own interpretation - the gerbil represents some part of me that for some reason I neglect and do not take care of - even though it tries to burst out and fill up itself with the emotion (the water), I insist on locking it hidden and close to death and dying
My Interpretation to your dream
I can certainly identify and feel your sadness. I also think that the interpretation you gave is accurate and appropriate, and I would like to add -
It is not by chance that you dream from a young age about a car that drives alone. A car, in many cases, symbolizes the personality consciousness in the physical reality here. When the car travels alone, it means that the mind of the ego calms down, allowing life to navigate your progress. Lo and behold, everything was all right and you got where you wanted to go, was it not?
The dream is meant to tell you to let go of the stress you exert on yourself (are you critical/judgmental?) and toward your life path. As you mentioned, you want things to be done in your own way, but this stubbornness only makes the energy (=gerbil) shrink and not realize itself. When you recognize the presence of the event, the situation or anything that appears in your reality landscape and does not try to change it, does not try to dictate how it should be - it works out.
As soon as you noticed the Gerbil he jumped up and sat on the seat. Your awareness of him gives him life. When you open the car door (=release the prison of the mind) the gerbil jumps out alive and goes out to take care of himself. But no! You insist that it will be in your way (to bring him water). You insist on saving him.
The dream comes and tells you explicitly - there are sad, dark parts in your soul ("everything is very dark") and you are in a stage where you are ripe and ready to receive these parts to you, to gather them, to love them and to heal them. But, all this has to be done naturally and without much effort. You try to save these parts, out of concern and love, but this is not the way. If you just let them be, they know how to revive and heal themselves. All they want from you is recognition of their existence. The rest they will do alone.
get out of your mind!
Mind you - be careful not to judge these dark parts. Like a little boy who has been cornered, the moment they feel judged and criticized, they pull out their fingernails and kick. Then you lose them, until the next time they appear.
I am very judgmental toward myself and very unjudgmental towards others.
It is very important. The nonjudgmental approach in life says, "Do not judge yourself or the others." It usually goes together.
Leatn to become a Master of Consciousness
Through your relationships, your dreams and your sexual energy