The thought of loving

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The thought of someone loving me scares me and the thought of me loving them back is even worse.

When you love someone you rely on them and they on you. If you rely on something and you ┬Ělose it, it's like losing a limb. I am fiercely self reliant and do not ever rely on one person financially, emotionally or spiritually.

I have, once and it hurt like hell when we were over even as I knew it was for the best. I do not wish to be weak but wonder if there is a flaw in my personality.

I see no reason to be codependent when there are so many things to do and see in life - why just spend them with one person? Culturally, this is not how people are but I I am more like a wolf I can run with a pack or alone and I like it that way. But I worry my greatest strength may be my greatest weakness.

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