RE: Marriage: Dealing with trust issues

I can understand where this post is coming from, you meet, you fall in love. Courting and living together are great, you love, you enjoy each other, doing and sharing so much together.

Then you marry and the reality strikes and everything changes, why, no one seems to know the reason for this.

My first marriage was relatively short, around five years, I had to leave, as my wife was a barbiturate addict.

I will not go into detail here as it is not line with the post.

What is an interest to the post is did we marry for love?

No, we married because of pregnancy, as one did in the early nineteen sixties.

So the loving relationship then marriage never took place in this instance.

From this dysfunctional relationship that we were in, it was fortunate the child was distanced from the problems and has since had a secure life, with much success, without either of her parents.

My second marriage was what one could call, an almost love, relationship then marry.

What appeared to be a reasonable, loving relationship lasting for several years, with two lovely children to prove this point.

Then came the first of my wife's affairs, all hush, hush behind my back. I can assure you that it hurts, we did talk about it and decided to carry on.

The 'love' that we had was no longer in the marriage; we became two people living in the same house.

Then came the second and third affair, the latter with a close relative causing further deterioration of our relationship. Reluctantly we stayed together, for the children.

When the children had left school, my wife had a further affair, this the one that ended the marriage.

I stayed on my own for the next twelve years, with no relationships, until four years ago. I met someone and a relationship developed in a beautiful, loving way.

After twelve years, still married to my wife but living separately, I applied for and got a divorce, to justify my new relationship.

I am now living happily with my new partner, life is good, but we are not contemplating marriage yet. We shall leave that for a further couple of years until I am seventy-five, then to see if we can if we can make a success of it.