My lips was kept sealed as he started taking away my moment to speak. The cold breeze of the sea crawled upon me. The sound of the waves became the music. Romantic, I guess, but not now.
Calvin, my one and only Calvin, its been 8 years and everything seemed perfect. We're almost passing the line of 20's, the perfect time for marriage. But when did I started asking why? When did my confusion started? When did I feel lost on this relationship? Was it that day we never stopped arguing? Was it that day when he did not answer my calls and texts? Was it that day when I saw him lying in front of me? Was it that day he said no when I asked him that I'm taking my chance to America? I don't know. And up until this very moment, I still don't find answers.
I was caught in the middle of my thoughts when he stopped in front of me, looking in my eyes, and held my hand. My sweet Calvin. My love. My only only one. And I thought it will be forever.
His words was blurred by my thoughts, I can't even hear him. He was so kind, so caring, so gentle, so loving, too good for me. But I can't see my future with him, not anymore. He was never wrong, in fact there was no third party involved. I know he lies to me, but it wasn't cheating. He was too good for me, too good. Too perfect that maybe I felt lost.
He knelt down and gently kissed the back of my hand. "Teresse, will you spend the rest of your forever with me?" He said.
And my tears fell down. I was holding this too hard, I can't take this anymore. I sobbed until I cried. This should be my tears of joy. I should be the luckiest girl, but why do I felt like being imprisoned? So I knelt down with him.
"Calvin, I love you, please know that. You had and always be my only one, but there was this thing I can't figure out yet. I was lost. You are the best thing that ever happened to me, but I'm afraid I could be your worst. I am so sorry, I don't want to hurt you, but I couldn't lie anymore."
There I go. I finally said it. Too painful but I finally felt relieved. I saw him crying and it almost killed me. I was about to take back what I have said, but I could not see him faking a smile at me anymore. I have to let go. He has to let go, too. He begged me but I refused. 'Said we'll try to work things out again, but my mind was closed to that possibility.
"I am in love with someone else."
So I have to keep a lie. 