Sociologists have been studying bullying for decades, they just don't call it bully and they've called the dominance of behaviour, that it's other people trying to overpower others. In terms of dominance behaviour, people trying to have power over another that helps us understand what to do about bullying, when we really understand what it is.
Bullying experts agree on one thing that bullying is an imbalance of power that someone's trying to have power over you, they want to see you lose and they want to win.
We take this as an example:
Bully: "You're so ugly."
And then you respond out of anger.
Victim:"Shut up. I hate you".
The Bully loves that and will not stop.
Bully:"I will never stop, because it's fun."
The more angry you get, the more fun they'll have.
But that is not the case, if you are resilient, emotionally strong and mentally tough, cause no matter what the hater says to you. you wouldn't care.
We can take this as an example:
Bully:"You're so ugly."
Victim:"I know, i wish i have the same face as you. You look cooler."
Bully:"You smell like body odour, you're nasty."
Victim:"Oh Thanks for telling me."
Some people might says, "Doesn't a person have to have a high sense of self esteem, to be able to do what you're asking, don't they have to have self confidence or a high sense of self worth?"
But that's a "No". They just don't, if you explain to students that bullying is nothing more than a game about winning and losing and the way that they can win, is by not getting upset and the bully will definitely lose, when people lose they don't like playing the game, so they'll leave you alone.
So don't get upset, no matter what they say. I'm not saying it's easy, but in logic it's very simple.
It's important to know that, bullying is when someone is hurting your feelings.
But some people think that bullying is more than hurting your feelings, they thinks it's like violence.
For example, when someone punches your face. I believe that you have to get upset this time. This is not bullying anymore, it's called assault and battery. When someone punches you. Don't just stand there and say: "It's all good!".
No!. If someone punches your face, you need to get upset, why?, because that's a crime. That is not bullying anymore it's a crime. Crime should be punished and if you ever feel like your life is in danger you should be protected, you should reach out for help.
These are social skills, that every human needs to learn, because there's mean people all around us, there's jerks everywhere. Experts have discovered that, when you empower kids to solve their own social problem.
Three things happen:
All three words have one in common it's "self". You can't do it for the kid, he has to do it for himself. Only when he solves the problem for himself, does he grow in self-esteem, self-confidence and self-worth. That's what we should be doing, every victim of bullying deserves the right to be taught, on how to solve their own social problems.
