After taking a moment to grab life by the balls — then needing to fend off the Me Too movement with the garden hose for a few hours because apparently we're not allowed to touch life there anymore — yours truly, @NoNamesLeftToUse The Writer/Artist Himself, has decided to change things up a bit.
Do not be alarmed.
I have not forgotten about the fine art of shitposting.
And it seems to be all the rage these days. I almost feel foolish for showing up outta nowhere then dropping two 2000 word bombs upon this charming little community.
Let's be honest. I talk too damn much. There, I said it so you don't have to. Was that so hard?
So much has changed around here.
For instance: Where is everyone?
Seems really quiet. An
attention whore professional like me requires a packed house in order to feel like waking up the next day to do it all, all over again. Don't we pay people to consume this stuff?
Profit sharing. This concept should be foolproof. It works. Just look at how many lost kitties there are in this world. That's right. None. Because people write up nice articles, add a fancy picture, post it up on the bulletin board, and offer a reward.
When I lived in Edmonton, a rough looking dude offering handjobs told me at the top of his lungs:
There's more money in pussy than there is in cans, asshole!
It took me a few weeks to figure that one out but I get it now, and he was right.
I see a few folks these days recommending changes to the platform, again. I've been around here for over four years, forever watching folks fiddle with the dials and play with their knobs, trying to find that sweet spot. Suggesting anything and everything in order to appeal to a tiny market that sometimes doesn't seem interested in what we're doing here, at all.
Meanwhile, for the past four years, I've been staring at that other market. The one not many here seem to be paying attention to. The one that gladly shells out millions of dollars every year to support online content and its creators. As it stands now, this Hive platform offers those consumers a far better deal than anywhere else.
"I've been framed!"
Earlier today I was out browsing the feeds here. Stumbled into another one of these big names, begging for change. Here and now there's another one of these deplatformed creators with a sizeable following asking for donations. His goal is a quarter million dollars, of all things.
I'm honestly becoming annoyed with these folks making a career out of being fired. Especially when they're sitting directly upon a solution and don't even notice.
Check out this picture of Spiderman I made!
If you look close enough, you can even see his dick.