In this world of uncertainty it seems like there are only 2 kinds of people. Those who will crack and those who just ride the wave. In simpler terms there are those with high expectations (usually unrealistic) and those with less. If you're like me for the longest time life has been a struggle to keep things together going through the education system you always strive for the best (without realizing what to do with what you've learned) only to come to the real world and realize that you do not simply go through it without inevitable failures. I realize now that whats making me stuck in this rut of mine really comes from the perception that I've valued perfection over progress (and because I'm working on getting over this need to perfect I'll post it with minor editing). When in reality its progress not perfection that really determines success. I've come to realize the battle between perfection and progress is a matter of attachment. The more attached you are the more anxious, it's unrealistic ambition. You can also see it as the fear of failure so much it cripples you to even try. Your almost destined to crack and go downhill.
That's where I'm unfortunately at now. And although I realize this has become a habit that's been hard to break out of from years and years of living with external expectations (mostly parents). As I'm writing this I know that the truth is I've got to trust progress no matter how little but often my patience breaks and I snap back on to the old habit. And it hasn't helped that social media has been a big part of my life as well, that feeling of needing to "catch up" with the world. Missing out on shit and stuff like that. I get that the truth when most people who post stuff just wanted to share a small moment of joy in their lives becomes interpreted as a message of competition on who's gotten what compared to you. And you have this need to up their game or at least be in the same league. Again an attachment that's filled with fake but thrilling adrenaline and then depression. And that's where I believe this platform has a unique place in this rush of nonsense. Since I've started using steemit I realized how clean everything is there isn't a lot of fancy shit that pops in your face I believe when I scroll through and click on something interesting it has more to deal with the content that I'm interested in than hype. Another major factor are NO FUCKING ADS I think we really underestimate the value of an ad free platform in today's world. And I'm extremely grateful for that. There's a lot of subconscious (indirect) influence that distracts you, to pause and even for those few seconds it adds up. I'm not sure what I'm really trying to get my readers on this post hopefully you've gotten some perspective perhaps you realize you may be like me. Feel free to give your input as well. Thanks for reading.