This article is a continuation of the concept of the game of faces, previous articles in this theme can be found here:
https://steemit.com/life/@montycashmusic/reflections-judgements-of-the-face-and-face-reading-in-the-west-meditation
https://steemit.com/psychology/@montycashmusic/reflections-an-empath-s-perspective-on-communication-with-tourists
We live in a world where a face or a set personality that is not necessarily our honest personality with truly honest reactions is needed in order to function effectively.
This is largely due to the highly defensive mode society has us in, in order to communicate with others as though in a constant competitive game.
This game is revealed in a very raw form when we avoid this or that person on the street trying to sell us something or beg from us or even steal from us.
This fear of the 'dark absolute' of this game keeps our defenses high and as a result most people walk around wearing a face which is not their truly honest self.
What has become now is that for many this face has been worn for a very long time or passed on through generations to their children as a defined structure of how to deal with 'reality'. Many have forgotten they are even wearing a face.
When I go deep into grounding myself in different meditations and explore myself in the purely honest self of what I feel myself as in my body, I discover that I make many reactions that are not honest to myself and these reactions take up unnecessary energy.
As a result I slowly cut out certain reactions and habits of conversation and ways of being with people because I strive to be as honest as I can be, mainly for the sake of self-preservation and to feel good about myself for myself.
This is possible because I do not currently rely on maintaining a face to maintain a position in a job. Being a street musician means I only need to be smiling unnecessarily or reflecting people's emotions when I am playing music or only in situations where it is necessary to do so.
Then there are times when I am forced to be in the presence of other people without my consent and I have three options:
Who I am is a very raw person. Underneath all the layers, I have discovered that I am quite direct and raw with no need of bullshit.
When I really honestly focus on giving myself the space to react and be honest with people, the first time I tried this, I freaked people out. It can be hard to do this without expressing anger or being perceived as being angry.
Over time and especially now, I am slowly learning to give a truly honest reaction, deflecting energy in things I perceive as fake and choosing not to participate in a social setting without causing offence.
This is an art it seems and will require further study.
For now, if I have the energy I can wear a face, but when I really want to keep this energy, and use it for more productive things (like preparing music recording at the moment) - well, I'm learning to do this more effectively and without offence.
"Hello, where are you from?"
"Excuse me, I don't honestly have the energy for conversation at the moment, I just need to be in my own space."
Then give a straight face, no further reactions, maybe a light smile and a continue as though what I'm doing is completely normal.
Try it sometime, maybe you'll feel better for yourself.
Finding that group of people we can be unconditionally honest with, with everything in our lives is a necessary piece of complete living. Even then, there are times when we all need alone time.
Another branch of exploration of this topic is removing the idea that energy is scarce and replace it with the idea that energy is abundant. This is certainly true at times, but I need to deal with myself most importantly when I am at the bottom of the barrel. I have discovered about myself that I am a mimic, I naturally accomodate other people's behaviours and temporarily take on their repressions involuntarily. A sucking thing can come and suck me up because this is their habit to use up this energy like this and this requires direct and honest response to put a boundary on the energy outflow.
Another topic for another time.
In love,
Monty xx
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