BREAKING: Coronavirus experts claim that hopping around on one leg can provide natural immunity to COVID-19. Hopping not only burns more calories than walking but also targets coronavirus specifically due to its disruptive vibratory effects.
According to BBC political correspondent Peter O'Hanraha-Hanrahan, experts say the vibratory force and shock of just one hop is enough to cause significant and permanent damage to the virus. The UK government has urged its citizens to replace walking with hopping, updating its national slogan from 'STAY ALERT' to 'just one hop a day keeps the coronavirus at bay' and 'hop, hop, hop until the coronavirus stops'.
Anyone not found hopping will receive a £100 fine and face up to six years in prison, the government has warned. Children are urged to call the police and report their parents if they aren't following the new rules.
Britain, LET'S GET HOPPING.