I arrived in MN yesterday after a 2 day road-trip.

My boyfriend and I broke up the night before he was to take me to MN via roadtrip. I tried to find other options but on such short notice there was no ticket that would allow my non-service cat. I wonder if I can get her approved as a service cat because of how much she helps me depression? Kidding, kinda.

So anyways, yeah. He was nice enough to still drive me to MN. But it proved tricky. We both still have feelings for one another, or at least we both did. I don't know where we stand now. The break-up was due to a lack of communication, long distance, and a lot of mistakes that can't be taken back. --One of them involving him sending me a conversation between him and his ex that was all about me. Including talk of how I am "wasting my life away". -- Ouch. But on the road trip we held hands, laughed, and sometimes forgot about all the heartache.

This morning when Benoit woke up without me next to him --I stayed up catching up with my old friend-- he was very depressed and left my place very quickly, without so much as a hug. Watching him drive away I was pretty sure it was the last time I would see this person and that familiar sting hit me. He then sent a heart-breaking message about how I didn't have to break his heart to get him to drive me to MN. That wasn't my intention and my feelings were not fake. He hurt me, I am not over it and in spite of that I let y feelings get the best of me on this road trip.

On a positive note, I love my new room and am so happy to be reunited with one of my best friends. :) I am in bed being sad and playing Stardew valley today but plan to walk around the neighborhood and get pics soon and will also take pics of my room when I get it set up. It feels good getting away from all the memories of Florida and getting a fresh start. I feel like a new chapter of my life is about to begin.

I am about to really start living, for me. In spite of another heartbreak I feel like I am going to be really happy. I qualify for medicaid here so my health can get taken care of, including getting therapy and probably meds. And the neighborhood is pretty, and not too busy. It looks awesome for walking. I have the isolation and relaxation I will need to focus fully on creating.

Time to create some mother-fucking art.

Also, my cat is so happy. >'-'<