Hey there Ponder Pony (is there a name behind the pony?), I'm glad that you were able to share these thoughts with us. I can tell you that loneliness is something that has, ironically, been plaguing more and more individuals since the advent of social media - or, in other words, antisocial media. It can be used in a good way, and sometimes it is, but in many cases it causes irreparable damage. It's clearly caused you some harm. People themselves have evidently caused you harm for you to feel this way.
Even within your only friend, you can sense the loneliness. I'd like for you to remember that there are many people out there who feel the same way. If all the lonely people got together, would they actually feel lonely anymore? It's a bit of a philosophical question, but the reality lies in the fact that ultimately, you are never truly alone despite the fact that you feel that deep sense of loneliness. There are people out there who understand what you're going through and would want to be amicable with you.
You seem to have a lot on your mind, and the capability of expressing yourself through words. It's a skill that not everyone possesses. It's valuable, and I am certain that with a wider reach, someone out there would be interested in sharing thoughts with you.
In fact, I'd like to do that!
There's an entire community of people around who are interested in exactly that. I founded the FreeCompliments Community to connect the kind people who want to exchange kindness with each other. I think you could use a little bit of that right now.
I'd like for you to remember that this fleeting thought of potentially wanting to kill yourself is a permanent answer to what may be a temporary problem. I understand the reasoning, but I'd like for you to use the same reasoning to say, "let's give this another shot in a different way and see if it works." Let's try out different solutions and see what sticks, even if it takes some effort and practice. I'm sure that, with a little bit of help, you'll find something that will work out for you.