Lemon water drunk and coffee in hand I made my way to the sofa to go through the pictures from the night before. Laughing out loud at a few of Sarah's which featured Mat and I dancing like nut cases. I played around with the filters I've just discovered on Instagram and enjoyed looking far fresher with a golden tint than I actually did in that moment! Feeling a little less foggy after my coffee and very relaxed I pulled out my notebook and started scribbling..
There have been moments of huge growth followed by moments where I've felt truly stuck. So much has changed yet so much has stayed the same. It's tested my resolve almost constantly and challenged me to be who I want to be again and again. I'm not going to go into it in detail right now, I'll save that for tomorrow's post, but I will say this; it has not been easy. I've struggled with my headspace more this year than I have in many with seemingly far less reason than I've had in the past. I've felt really alone at times and battled to find peace on my own. I've worked really hard and made progress in some areas and hardly any in others. It's been a year of contradictions, a year of challenges and a year of self reflection. I will never regret anything that is hard as I know better than most that it's the hardest of things that are the most valuable but I've had a few really hard years already and I'm hoping that 2018 will offer a break in the clouds and a chance to stretch my newly formed wings and fly.
To find happiness and peace within. To keep growing. To keep evolving. To keep bettering myself. I wouldn't take away anything that's happened in the last few years, even the things that nearly cost me my life as I know that without them I wouldn't be where I am right now. And although that may not be where I wish to be, it is closer than I've been before. So I'm grateful, for it all, and hopeful for the future. I hope you all have the most wonderful New Year, I hope it brings you nothing but love, light, happiness and abundance. Let's hope together we can spread light to out shine the darkness and raise the energy of this world towards the good. Here's to 2018!