I wrote this at 1am. And I realized that I’ve miscounted my, "My Deepest Thoughts" series. I'm so sorry for that mistake. I've written #4 & #5 twice, cause I wrote #4 and #5 on my supposedly 6th and 7th series. LOL sorry heaps. silly me. I probably was so stressed out or plain drunk. Either way, it's still so annoying. I soooooo hate making unchangeable mistakes cause I’ve only noticed them now as I was scrolling through my blog posts and it was written weeks ago… Therefore, I can’t change it anymore…
Anyways... listening to secular songs in YouTube made me feel a strong urge to write this out...
I've been thinking and... the moment I've let him go made me regret a lot of things but yet again these thought came in my head, "Do you really want to be with him or do you just want the idea of being with him?"
I seriously have the realest thoughts when everyone else is asleep and when the night is audibly silent.
Our reservation note, when we had a dinner together at my bestfriend's restaurant.
A week after I bid him my final goodbye, he still runs around my head. Or maybe I just miss the memories I've shared with him? Or maybe I’ve been emotionally tied with him because he shared his dark past with me and told me things he never told anyone about… I dunno. But it sure does bother me. We’re just both temporary people carrying each other’s deepest and darkest secrets, in hopes for to get tangled with each other again…
I always try my best to avoid him, but somehow that emotionally lazy man approached me last Sunday before he left to go home and I just gave him an awkward but mad smile, yep, I'm a psycho. Although, he never explained why he suddenly turned as cold as hell and treated me so dry abruptly (before)... But he did apologize for his wrongdoings and told me he never expected for us to end up like this... Yet again, he should have said that to a stupid gal cause I sure ain't one. I'm so not gonna fall for those sweet excuses ever again. First of all, if he never wanted us to turn out like this then he would have never given me the cold shoulder and he would have tried his very best to keep me. Like duh.
One tip ladies, to fully discipline an emotionally lazy man, you should stop spoonfeeding him and you should make him taste his own medicine. Don't ever take away his responsibility as a man. He should do the pursuing and not you. It’s his responsibility to make his love known for you and to keep you in his arms… So, let that lazy dude go and avoid him at all costs. Be pretty and surround yourself with people that'll help you radiate the inner hoe in you haha just kidding. But yeah, ignore him and know your worth. That lazy dude will see your worth and surely come chasing after you, give him a hard time. Don't let him get back in your life so easily. And he will never be emotionally lazy after that.
Okay, I might be a little harsh but a woman gotta do what a woman has to do.
That's all for now!
@churchgaldiaries, signing out. xoxo.
