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I Just Don't Care About the Same Things Anymore

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I’ve been wanting to get more involved in Hive for a long time. I haven’t been inspired for a while. I remember a time when I was overflowing with so much inspiration that it was almost overwhelming. I have pages and pages of ideas written down, partially done projects, unposted material. I’ve given up on a lot that I used to care about. This happens to me often. I change so much and I turn away from things that I used to be about. They don’t fit into my life anymore. I had so much going before Covid. When lockdown happened I actually loved it. It was one of the best times of my life. I remember how wonderful it felt to be bored sometimes. I remember just staring out my window and not feeling like I should be doing something more significant and important. I loved that feeling. And that slow living has just stuck with me.

I guess I’m tired. I used to live under such pressure. I don’t want to do that again. Living a fairly comfortable life has made me fairly complacent. And I’m not really sure that’s a bad thing. But sometimes I miss the feeling of inspiration and passion. My goals don’t feel pressing anymore. They lack a sense of urgency. And maybe that’s a good thing, right? If you’re under the impression that I’ve chilled out a lot, it’s partially true. However I find myself holding an immense amount of tension in my body. So am I really living this much more chilled out, simple existence? I don’t even know.

I’m told that Covid has utterly changed the lives and mental health of many, many people. I’m a literal different person since the dawn of Covid. I dropped all of my friends except very good old ones. I feel neutral about most topics. I used to passionately post my opinions about this and that, trying to help liberate people from their caged thinking. Now I guess…. maybe things kind of feel like they don’t really matter if I’m being honest. I just read a very passionately written article about the danger of the times we’re living in and her insistence that she’ll keep talking about it no matter the opposition. All I felt was fear and like I just want to leave this country and go somewhere happier. I just don’t have room for all the complications anymore. I just… don’t care.

I guess everything that has happened has brought a new level of clarity about what’s really important to me in life which is love, relationships, fun, enjoyment, feeling good, happiness, fun, community, fun, and fun. I don’t want to fight. I don’t want to fight other’s beliefs, I don’t want to forcibly try to get people to see the light. I just want to have fun.

I’ve been watching a ton of videos about moving to Mexico from the US. I’ve never even been to Mexico. But I remember being in elementary school and they wheeled one of those old TVs in on the big tall metal cart and played a video about Mexico. Before that I actually had no idea that other places existed. It just never entered my mind. My best friend was from Mexico, so in thinking about it, my not knowing that doesn’t really make sense. But I don’t know. It just dawned on me. I was intrigued. I keep seeing Tik Toks where people talk about how nice and easy living in Mexico is. The dentist is cheap and easy and comfortable. It’s not poor. (everywhere) It’s not dangerous (everywhere.) It’s beautiful. And the people are incredibly kind. And there are shopping malls with all the American stores. And McDonald’s in some places. A vast array of places to live from artistic communities, to hippie towns, expat communities, beachy towns, mountain cities, big booming cities… And this is what ignites something in me these days.

How would I do it with my business that I’m so utterly invested in? How would I bring the immense amount of stuff with me that this business entails? The answer to living in another country is an internet based business. And to me that means Hive. Steemit/Hive have always been the answer. There’s so much potential here. And there are so many things I’m interested in. Why do I not share anymore? In the middle of the night as I lay in bed I decided that I would get some inspiration about what to share. A grand idea. Maybe I go around Appalachia and show people things I’m interested in. Then when I go to Mexico I show people the things in Mexico that I’m interested in. But when I woke up I knew that I needed to open up a new document and just write. So here we are. Writing has always been so cleansing and clarifying to me. I’m not entirely sure what exactly I’m passionate about anymore. (Although I am, it’s just not the same things as it was before.) I have to keep writing and sharing. I love to do it. And I guess it will be a daily discovery and unfolding. But I may just commit myself to sharing something every day even if it’s just automatic writing like I’m doing here now.

There’s so much space on Hive for pretty much any content, and if there’s anything I can think of that I want to invest in building… it’s the Hive blockchain. I love the idea of building my own fortune through something that I feel is literally the revolution. Steemit/Hive have already been the best opportunity of my life. Almost every single drop of cryptocurrency I own came from what I earned on Steemit and reinvested into other areas. I never invested even one US dollar until 2021.

So that’s what I have to share today. Without being controversial and fighting and complaining, how have you genuinely changed since Covid? I didn’t think it would change me at all. I’ve been waiting for a big shift my whole life. I’ve been shaking people awake my whole life. I don’t need to do that anymore. People are awake. Everybody’s sharing new, revolutionary thoughts. Now I can just… have fun. Love. Build and deepen relationships.