That's right, folks, he's back! I survived the shouty old man, I persevered through the points ignition inquiry, we battled his overdue books . . . twice . . . and then there was the used car incident. He's a lot more frail than when I saw him last, and now he is relying on a wheeled walker to slooooooowly get around.
He also still refuses to pay those long-lost item collection fee charges from when he abused our "no late fee" system.
Today, he wanted computer help.
"I NEED YOU TO FIND ME THE PRIMER FOR THIS 4-WHEELER I BOUGHT. LOOK IT UP ON THE COMPUTER FOR ME!" He shouted across the building in that staccato bark of old deaf men. My boss was at the desk, and she tried her best to find what he wanted. At least this time he had the make and model for his machine, and it was something from this century. Unfortunately, I'm not sure his grasp of machinery is, though.
Mrs. C. was unable to find anything. I offered to take over, since the old coot was never going to accept a woman's answer anyway. I did some digging. I found an exploded parts diagram for the carburetor. Maybe that would help clarify the question if he could jab a gnarled finger at the screen and point at what he needed? Sorta-kinda. He also likes to loom as best he can in spite of his stooped posture, wheezing and gasping for air as I try to concentrate on finding scarce answers for his odd questions.
"I NEED TA KNOW HOW TA PRIME THIS THING. I THINK THAT PART FILLS WITH GAS BUT IT'S HARD PLASTIC AND METAL." None of this sounded right, but I was able to ask a few more questions and discover he couldn't start the engine. I think he wanted to know where the priming bulb was, as if it were a 2-stroke engine. Clearly I needed a basic operator's manual.
To complicate matters further, the brand name changed hands since his machine was built, and the new company's site doesn't have archives of any information from prior models, but my google-fu is strong. I found something, at least, on a sketchy 3rd-party manual archive. I verified he had the keys for his quad. Good. I explained that this had electric ignition, an automatic choke, and no need to prime the carb. If it wasn't starting, he needs to check the battery, the fuel filter, and so forth. I'm not sure he understood any of it, but he got an answer from someone with XY chromosomes who spent time looking busy, so at least maybe the old fart feels satisfied. He left without making any disparaging remarks, anyway.
I am concerned, though. He is deaf as a post, blind as a bat, stubborn as a mule, and older than shit. He has no business driving a 700 pound ATV, but I suspect his driver's license has been suspended or revoked and he wants to use it as an around-town transport. Out here in rural areas and small towns, ATVs are not an uncommon sight on the highways and byways, laws be damned. On one hand, ACAB! FTP! On the other hand, this geezer is gonna kill someone.
