It's so important to see how other people live their lives, so much so, that you've forgotten to live your own.
Write your bio!
And you freeze...
What do I want to tell everybody about myself? What do I want to share? What can I share?
My life consists of checking out how everybody else lives their lives, find their talents, share their passions, and I get hypnotised into always watching.
Is that my bio then?
I'm a watcher, a reader, a consumer.
Photo by Joanna Nix on Unsplash
So tell me, how do I share that?
As I type the next word, I realise I am having to look inwards and take a look at myself. That type of watching is new. It's a little bit mysterious, a little bit frightening.
The territory is not unknown. It feels kinda familiar in the way a warm, winter jumper feels familiar because it long ago became your favourite.
But why? The jumper is baggy, misshapen and even has a piece of yarn escaping at the wrist. It gets put on when she, the lady we're taking a new look at, when she wants to snuggle up on the sofa and watch an episode of "Grace and Frankie".
It gets put on when she wants to sit and hold her knees up close and lose herself in the story on the screen. she'd love to be either one of the women, Grace or Frankie. They may be in their 70s but they have so much life coursing through their veins.
She watches, she cries and lets her heart get pulled on by the narrative. She laughs out loud.
A jolt! A sudden explosion and for a moment she notices the room she is sitting in - all alone. How peculiar. Where did everybody go?
A moment of panic where the jumper now over her knees feels almost like a straight jacket. She can't move.
Now that would be the beginnings of a horrific bio.
So no, that's not me.
As well as watching, reading and consuming, I also speak about my self in the third person.
I am she. The slithery snake of the S that stands in front of the He she protects.
Thanks Canva!
A warrior.
She guards the homestead...
Wearing a brown, baggy and misshapen jumper she stands tall. Underneath these layers she is camouflaged, not-easily seen. She is a woman ready and waiting, ready to pounce on any threat.
She is sharp-witted, quick and determined.
This woman is...
Not me.
Well maybe a little bit, but really, you wouldn't catch me dead wearing that jumper!
Hey, now if you've got this far then maybe you're someone I could really share a little with.
So, what do you want to know?
I'm Jules. I'm a little flirty and playful when I feel that inner spark of recognition in a kindred spirit.
I love to explore the inner workings of a fellow traveler. You know, go deep into the abyss and swim around.
Externally, I'm five feet five and a half inches. That extra half being all important. I have naturally silver grey-dark grey hair that is really thick and shiny. And oh so silky soft.
I have small crinkled eyes that smile a beautiful grey blue. They love it when they catch the twinkle in the eyes of others and a knowing is passed from one to t'other.
The freckles that were once so prominent are still there but less so; faded by time, but never merged like I'd hoped giving me that beautiful tan. No, the milky white pallor is still strong in this Celtic descendant.
The image that greets me in the mornings as I brush my teeth doesn't always connect with the inner one I hold. There is a sagginess around the jowl that prompts me to pull strange faces at myself, in the hope that they will miraculously tighten my jawline and pull the multiple chins up. Of course, they don't. If only it were that easy.
The once slim body that fit beautifully into size 8 and 10 clothes (UK sizes) now fights to remain a size 12. The tummy area has expanded and wobbles somewhat. Let's pass on by quickly here. It is an area of myself I generally choose to ignore.
That, I believe will do for now. You will no doubt have conjured up an image of me and possibly looked at my shared photo. One that was taken a few years back in a photo session with my two girls and I think catches my essence well.
There is more to learn about this woman I have become, am, and if you choose to, you can add me to your follow list. My intention is to hang around here a while. Well, actually I'm not sure where here is really, as I'm writing this while sitting in my living room in my jimjams. But I guess you know what I mean.
Leave me a comment if you wish to become acquainted. Let me know if we've had that awkward handshake. Did you squeeze a little too hard, or was it a bit flimsy? Or better still, did we meet like old friends and share a warm hug that brought with it a smile and a glowing feeling inside?
Your comment will tell me a little bit about you and then there's every chance I'll become intrigued enough to begin watching you, reading your narrative and lose myself... Yet again.