Hello Steemians!

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I've always wanted to start writing a blog and share videos! I look forward to creating content that could possibly touch, move and inspire others.

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I recently got introduced to Steemit by my inspiring new friend Miika aka @celestal, and I thought it was a cool platform with a great mission behind it. I decided to take this opportunity to share myself in what seems to be a supportive community. I’m looking forward to engaging, learning and hopefully being a contribution to the mix!

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Ok so strap in, I’m gonna keep this long and as boring as possible, but after a few hours of reading hopefully you’ll walk away knowing me better!
Get comfortable, i’m gonna start from the very beginning. Just joking, i’m gonna just jump into the narrative at some sensitive and random point in my life.

My life then:

I was diagnosed with PTSD, bipolar, ADD and depressive disorder when I was young and again as young adult. The professionals said it was very severe, but my amazing, strong and beautiful mom forbade me from taking their medications, because she and so many around us had become so addicted in there life to drugs and medications . As I got older I developed a strong bias on the side of not taking medication unless I decided that my acute specific situation had to have it for pain or some kind of infection.
As I got order I found out that much of my so called disorder, I naturally learned as a child growing up in an environment that was full of mentally ill, emotionally ill, drug addicted and poverty stricken people. That meant I could unlearn the behaviors, change my environment and the bad nutrition that created my erratic behavior, chemical imbalance and suicidal impulses.
I stopped nearly all, refined processed sugars because I observed it throwing my serotonin levels off, I stop staying up late because it threw my serotonin levels off, I stopped allowing myself to be dehydrated because it threw my serotonin levels off. I moved away from what I perceived as negative people and environment, I eat more fresh whole fruits and veggies, I fasted on water, did yoga, meditated, read books, went to workshops, got psychological therapy and exercised frequently, consistently and I began to change negative thought life and self talk to progressive self talk backed by powerful positive emotions of love and gratitude . I made it a main stake in my actions to seek and develop a relationship with God/ Source and the Natural/ Universal laws animating things seen and unseen.
At times things still are challenging for me but I lean into my fundamentals for support.
Living my life is all about making the best possible choices. And when it gets hard I remember that "Life isn't all about distance, it's also about direction" - Swami Brahmananda
My situation was that I never consumed the medication they prescribed but I respect the choice that people make to take it or not.

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My Life now:

Although things started off so rough early in life, and I’m currently grieving the death of my mother a few months ago, and although I still have areas to progress in, I’m happy and fulfilled in life. I enjoyed getting a few degrees in areas i’m passionate about, I work as a Transcendental Meditation Teacher and have assisted in the teaching of meditation to near 400 high school students from at risk environments, I’ve traveled all around the world, and lived in other countries, I often meet and enjoy loving relationships with absolutely the most amazing and inspiring people, I spend my time studying my passion and playing with small investments as a hobby (often losing lol)! At this very moment I’ve been traveling through Europe for nearly 3 months doing what I call “Travel Therapy” to help me process through the grieving of my mom. It's been helping. It's been very therapeutic engaging with new cultures, building amazing new friendships and having as much down time and silence as I need to reflect on my mom’s life and her impact in my life. I arrived back to New Jersey after a 6 month yoga and meditation course in Bali, Indonesia with no idea what was really happening in my mom’s life, although I spoke to her often on the phone. During this past year my mom lost her home and most her possessions, got sick and died. I went from 238 lbs to 297 lbs, got diagnosed with high blood pressure, and one of my siblings overdosed on heroin twice! It was a crazy year, to say the least! With a loss this monumental, over that amount of time, it shook the very foundation of my existence, my identity and any future goals that I had just evaporated. My heart was completely broken. If feels like so much of me died with her, however, finally, slowly something new is emerging. And sometimes i'm in the valley of sadness and regret again. But I understand it pass, with time.

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