When caterpillars go rogue

I can't recall just when it was they decided to go rogue but it was a long time ago. I'd always been picked on by my numbskull older brother for having thick ones, which started when I was about four I guess, but things really got lively when they went rogue several years later. I guess I was eleven or twelve. I refer to the two caterpillars that took up residence upon my face, the ones I call eyebrows.

I actually can't remember them arriving to be honest; I guess they did so one night as I slept or whilst I was preoccupied playing Lego or flicking through 1970's Playboy magazines, for the articles y'all - The articles!

They were like:

Ralph: Here's a likely spot for us to set up camp Sam.

Sam: Too right Ralph, looks bonza. Let's stay here for a bit.

Well, they stayed for longer than that; they're still here. (Bonza is a word that Australians used to use. It means: Good, excellent, top notch and so on.)

I looked at them one day realising those two caterpillars had made a permanent home where my eyebrows were supposed to be and whilst they looked somewhat thicker than normal I just thought it might be their winter coat. (It was winter you see.) Several months later I realised the error I'd made but by then they were too firmly ensconced above my eyes - They had basically moved in for good. Who was I to evict them after so long in residence. It seemed a little mean.

So be it, I thought, they can stay as long as there's no loud parties and they don't cause any trouble in general.

Well, there were no loud parties but there was trouble brewing from about when I turned twelve or so. They got a little bushier.

I noticed it, as did that slack-jawed nincompoop of an older brother of mine.

His favourite taunt was Neanderthal Man, as my forehead resembled that of one of my distant ancestors from about 10,000 BC, and when my ever-bushier caterpillar eyebrows began to become more established the Neanderthal resemblance became more pronounced and the taunts more frequent. _{original im src}

Ok...It didn't seem quite fair to be honest...I mean I am rather Neanderthal-like these days - a bit of a caveman in truth - but back then I was just your typical every day teenager who liked to read the articles in Playboy magazines. Every day teenager all except for those caterpillars above my eyes. I didn't understand.

Then they broke out...They went rogue.

I've dealt with it since then, some forty one years or so...Those caterpillars just took over my face without a by your leave and there wasn't much I could do but accept it. They sit above my eyes and do bugger-all else but make me resemble a Neanderthal man. My older brother is as useful as a screen door on a submarine, but damn it, he picked it...I AM THE MISSING LINK!

Today I was looking at them in the mirror. I was going to say having a conversation with Sam and Ralph but you'd probably think I was bonkers so I'll just say, looking at them. They looked rather rogue-like. Quite out of control. So...I took the scissors to them and gave them a little hair cut. They didn't complain, I'll give them points for that. They're now a little less unkempt and under control. I know they'll go rogue again though and come five weeks time I'll have to cut those bloody caterpillars back to size once again!